Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury,...

...my client has fallen in pee and can't get up......


Hello peeps. Hubs has been on jury duty for the last couple of days. It was one of those trials that keeps you on the edge of your seat in hair splitting suspense. Yeah, some guy slipped in some pee in a public restroom and wanted some cool cash for his trouble. There was nothing wrong with him. It happened 4 years ago, he's been to the doctor twice, both times they found nothing wrong, yet he sues. No wonder our courts are so back logged. And where do you think he found his attorney? I mean seriously. I can see the commercial now.
"Have you taken a prescription medication that caused you stomach upset? Have you been late to work because someone's car broke down in your lane and you were docked 5minutes pay? Or have you simply slipped in some urine and need a little extra cash? Why work, when you can sue? Call 1-800-GOT-MINE and we'll get your money for you?*****paid testimonial following....'Hi, I'm Porter C. Johnson, I slipped in some pee and now I have a shiny new car and a deluxe mobile home, thank you Mr. Flunk E. Attorney.'"

Of course, he left empty handed, yeah jurors. And hubs drove to Oxford and back for two days in a row to listen to this drivel. He has been called for Federal jury duty 4 times in the past few years, but was never picked for a trial. Then he gets this. A bit disappointing, but at least it only lasted for two days......


I know I promised to be here with my AI overview this evening, but I didn't make it home from the mountain of errands I had to run before it was over. So, I will have to catch up on two episodes tomorrow. Talk to ya then!!

Gee, your hair smells like...

..Bacon? My pretend BFF BooMama mentioned on her blog the other day that she had been making a hot breakfast each morning lately which left her hair smelling like bacon every day. This made me laugh out loud. My hair has always smelled like bacon EVERY. TIME. I cook it. I've always wondered if anyone else could smell it, or just me. I've tried a few different ways to cook it, even in the microwave, but it STILL smells up my do.

Well, I lurv me some bacon, and every Sunday by the time we get out of church my stomach is growling so loud every body on our row can hear it. So, I decided I was gonna make some bacon and eggs before church. Now, I move my lips sing in the choir, and it's a bit close up there, so my first thought was, "what if every one notices my hair smells like bacon?" Do you think I let that keep me from my bacon? Heck no, I pulled on a Disney princess shower cap and threw that bacon in the pan! "Did my hair smell like hickory smoked pork", you ask. No, it smelled like the stinky cheap vinyl they used to make the shower cap. At least I had my bacon.

If you can't get a job at the Taco Bell Drive thru...

...then I'm sure you can hire on at AOL doing some reporting. I was reading an article there today about the happenings during the Bush administration. They mentioned that the "events of September 9, 2001 set apart his presidency." Yeah, apparently tea and crumpets with Tony Blaire was the pinnacle of the whole 8 years. What kind of breath taking moron writes this stuff? Do they even bother to edit it AT.ALL? Even my 7 year old, who was two months old at the time, knows it was September 11. Clearly they are hiring Rhodes Scholars to fill there editorial positions.

On to better things....do either one of you watch American Idol? I DO. I Can't wait.
Season Premiere January 13th and 14th at 7 central....set your DVR's now people!! There is nothing I like better than watching the auditions while I unleash fiery sarcasm cheer on the contestants. My play by plays will be on each week my friends.

Thought I would leave you with something to ponder this evening. Today in our Language class we discussed that if you were full of cheer, you were cheerful. If you were full of grace, you were graceful. If you were full of joy, then you were joyful. What if you're full of cr@p?

***no mom, we don't use that word.

We do have clean underwear!

Hey peeps. Do you guys like the new non-Christmas look of the ole blahg? My new friend KS pointed out that I have been busy on the bloggy so we must be wearin' dirty underwear at our house.....I 'bout choked on a Dirito when I read that. But, I am happy to inform you that I have only spent about 5 minutes on Pathwords in the last two days. Not because I was involving myself in the more important matters of life or anything, but my stinkin' hand was crampin' up like a 96 year old arthritic from clenching the mouse for hours on end. I'm afraid I've turned into a mouse potato.

Okay, I'm back, I almost forgot about you guys. I ran into the living room because I heard some questionable music on T.V. and wondered if the kids had somehow changed the channel. Who writes the songs for Disney channel? Alanis Morrisette.

I have to run for now, time to get ready for Church. I'll post more later!

The Child formerly known as Elly....

....Has informed us that she now wishes to be called Rosalina. Pretty, no? Exotic anyway. Tonight whilst we were in the throws of one of our mad Mario Kart marathons, I over heard her ask her Daddy, "will you ask Mommy if we can go to the place where you change names tomorrow and change my name to Rosalina?" I was thuroughly confused. Not that I don't understand wanting to have your name changed. Hello? Calista. 'nuff said. When I was little I remember telling my parents that as soon as I was able, I was changing my name to Heather. But at least I had a reason. I was tired of being called cholesterol. And that was when Cholesterol wasn't cool. Oh, and in the fifth grade I got to hear Calisterine, every day of the school year. So we have a good understanding of my desire to change my name, but Elly? I think that is cute. And it so fits her. I'm sorry, she just doesn't look like a Rosalina to me.
Guess I'll humor her for now and hope it wears off soon. Maybe I'll join in the game, you all can call me Svetlania........

My life is a strike through!!

Apparently I failed to preview my blog before posting. I am an idiot. The entire thing was a strike through barring a few words in the beginning. I swear, I don't know why you all put up with me. I think it's fixed! Sorry.

This, That, and pretty much nuthin.........

I thought I would interrupt our Wii marathon to play 82 more rounds of Pathwords and then drop a few lines on you, blog!

Santa brought Tracy & I the kids Mario Kart for Christmas. This game is addictive. So now, I have to divide my time between PathWords and Wii cooking, cleaning, laundry and such. There really isn't enough time in the day for all I have to do. So, in order to keep peace in the family I'm gonna stop blogging. No, no, not really, I meant to say stop cleaning the windows...bwa,hahahaha. I don't clean windows. I thought about stopping cleaning the baseboards, making the bed every day, or dusting, but I don't do any of those either. It may have to come down to laundry folks. So, when you see my kids walking around in wrinkly, stained up clothing, you'll know I've updated the blog. Or, perhaps scored higher than a first grader on PathWords.

I have a mind splitting headache. I have had one for most of the day. I took Excedrin Migraine which helped for almost 14 minutes. I can't take Aleve, Advil or any of my regulars because I now have an ULCER from all of it. Yes, you heard me right. Can I have one more thing wrong with my guts?? You'd think I'd drop a pound or two. But no, apparently Mylanta, Tums, Zantac and Tagamet all have about 5000 calories per dose, cause that's pretty much all I'm eating and have not lost an ounce. Anyway, I have used the "Head On" stick all over my head tonight trying to help ease the pain. It really does help for a little while. I think they should make it tinted, so I can just use it instead of foundation make-up. I think I'll write the company.

At this point, I think I will go cuddle up with a heating pad wrapped around my head, G'night!!