The Perfect Bra

Okay girls, today I am going to share with you, my search for a bra. If you find my talking about bras to be offensive, then please close your eyes and scroll down to the post about what I had for breakfast yesterday. I'll give you a second to decide.....


Here I go. Yours Truly is in dire need of some new bras. This is the one thing in life I hate, loathe and despise shopping for. Cute shoes, yes. Bras, not so much. My Mimi, bless her, still calls them brassieres. It's easy to see why it got shortened through the years to just plain old bra. I think it is an acronym for Brutal Rezoning Apparatus. I say rezoning, because if I don't put these dogs on a leash they get way down the block before I can catch them. Just sayin'. Anywho, the ones I currently possess are tired, and I mean worn slap out. My favorite bra died in the spring one Sunday morning as we were readying for church. I was just about ready to go, when I felt this stabbing pain under my right arm. I asked Hubs to please look under there for me to see if something had got in my blouse and stung me. I don't know why I thought something had, we aren't raising bees in the bathroom for heaven's sake. At any rate, he found the source of my pain and told me that the wire in my most beloved minimizer bra had poked itself a hole and was protruding right out the side into my flesh. OUCH! Immediately taking note of my grief at such a loss he said, "I think we can fix it." He left the room and returned with some wire cutters and a pair of plyers. Ummmm, whatchagonnadowiththose? "I was gonna just try to clip that metal off the end there, but maybe you should take it off first".....ya think? So I changed into the bra I hate. The one that squishes the girls together and makes it look like a have a speed bump across my chest, and decided we'd better go or I was gonna be late for choir. When I came out Hubs was in the garage with his plyers, a pneumatic sanding wheel, and my bra?? *disclaimer** DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME*** He cut the end of the wire off and sanded it so if it happened again, it wouldn't hurt so bad. Out of desperation I wore it a couple of more times, only to have it happen again, so out it went. I made it through most of the summer with speed bump bra and a couple of sports bras but the time has come for me to go in search of some bras. Any helpful hints would be much appreciated. I don't require a lot in a bra. Needs to be supportive, yes supportive is good, and each cup needs to know it's place, I'm tired of the unibreast. Anybody want to go shopping with me? Not so much, I'm sure..... Alright girls, I need a witness on this one, if you have a bra story leave it in the comments so's we can ALL feel your pain.