Colonoscopy, MRI, what's next?

Happy late Valentine's Day. Here are some valentine cookies I thought about making for you!

It's the thought that counts right? I hope y'all had a nice Valentine's Day, with your sweeties. We watched Fireproof and had Take out while the kids played and ate dinner with friends. It was really nice. If you haven't seen Fireproof yet, I can't recommend it highly enough. I've seen all three of their movies, and Fly Wheel is still my fave, but Fireproof is awesome. The out takes and extras on the DVD alone were enough to make be glad I bought it.

Friday Tracy watched the kids while I went shopping after my MRI. I don't know if I told you or not, but I've had knee pain for the last few years, and in the last year or so it's gotten worse. One of our friends at church just had knee surgery and he recommended his doctor so I finally bit the bullet and went in last Tuesday. Friday I went in for an MRI, and that was an experience. I've had an MRI before, but not like this one. I pulled up to the address where the MRI was scheduled and it was a warehouse type building, in what looked like nothing short of a ravine. Down in a little valley on a dead end side road. Looked NUTHIN' like a medical facility. After filling out my entire life's history and providing photocopies of all my school records for K-12, I took a seat. Someone came to the door and called for someone in the waiting room. I thought it was a family member because she was just wearing jeans and a shirt, but then I noticed the file in her hands. A moment later another employee came to the door and called out for a second patient. She too had on street clothes, ones that caused me to recall tacky day during homecoming week in high school. How many pieces of Premiere Jewelery are really appropriate with a pair of stone washed black jeans and a stained Ole Miss T-shirt anyway, is there anything in Vogue about this? Now I hate to sound like a snob, 'cause I am totally not one. I'm nothing if I'm not plain. But I like my medical professionals in scrubs. There's a wide variety out there, many colors, some with animals, some with cartoon characters, you name it. Just something that announces that you possess some type of license or certificate, and a name tag is nice. Yes, yes, I like a name tag too. These people had none of this. I realize it was Friday. Maybe casual Friday. But really folks, how uncomfortable is a pair of scrubs?

Anyway, after about 15 minutes a man beckons me at the door. He looks as though he is picking me up for a date. Flashback 1987. He is wearing a brown leather bomber jacket, blue jeans, and brown hiking boots. At this point it is only myself and an 82year old man in the waiting room. He opens the door and says "you must be Calista, right this way"....I can hear 38 Special music in my head. I catch a faint whiff of Halston Z-14, or maybe Polo cologne. I follow him down the corridor and begin to wonder just how long this building could possibly be when he opens a door for me that leads outside. I said "we're going outside?" "Yes" he said, "it's right over there." Over where? I don't see anything but a bunch of vehicles, and oddly enough, a patio with some nice lawn furniture and a grill? At this point I'm looking around for a camera, I know I've been punked. "It's in that truck over there by my Mustang." I look up and there is a semi-truck in the parking lot. He had me to walk up on a lift and he hoisted me up to the truck entrance. There was a small little area the size of a bath room with two chairs and a laptop, and then a slightly larger area with the MRI tube. He told me to leave my purse in one of the chairs and he proceeded to strap me into the tube. Literally. He told me it would take 20 minutes and not to move. I couldn't move, I was strapped down. He left the room. All I could think of was the fact that I was tied to a board in a 32 degree room with half my body in this tube while he was out there with my purse. It turned into a Seinfeld moment. 20 minutes is enough to order yourself a new updated wardrobe by phone with my credit card, and I'd be none the wiser. It wouldn't be hard, they know everything about me including the name of my third grade teacher. I mean really, your info is compromised and you think "Wal-Mart, the bank, the waiter," but you don't think about your MRI technician.......I'm watching my accounts, if I see where I've been charged for a new leather jacket, or 80's Power Ballads, I now where I'm going!

And what do you think number 4 would be??

Well, I was right, Elly has a sinus infection. She is on Augmentin. Every Mother that just read that line said "oh, bless her" 'cause you know what goes along with Augmentin. Why don't they just automatically hand you a bottle of Imodium AD when you get that prescription filled? Has there ever been a drug harder on the intestines? I'm thinkin' not. It's good stuff no doubt, you take that and your gonna pooh those germs right out. The good news is, her nose is no longer running like a water hose, the bad news is, her tail IS. Last night after having to make a mad dash to the rest room, She said, "Mommy, I went number 3"....ummm, okay, "you mean number two right?" She said, "no, number 3, dat's when number two is like number one" okay, GOTHCHA. Just, Eeeew.

Well, I have to run, I've got tons of wrapping to do, and guess what? Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, if I wait much longer I may as well give out gifts in my Mother's favorite wrap, the Wal-Mart bag it came in.

See ya later!!

Just checkin' in.........

Hey bloggies. I hope y'all are warm. It's taken a turn for the cold here. I was just reading my email and catching up on some blogs and thought I would drop a line before bed.

Elly has a terrible cough and a major runny nose, so we are off to the docta tomorrow. He hasn't seen us in about 3 weeks, so I'm sure he's gettin' pretty frantic that he won't make his rent anyway. The doctor's office we go to has recently grown by leaps and bounds, so they have added several new pre-schoolers in lab coats young doctors right out of med-school to their staff. This does not please me. When I took Elly with her last ear infection we saw one of these new doc's. He was completely whack. It was all I could do not to finish his education for him. She had an ear ache, low grade fever and a cough. We don't need a CAT scan and a lab work-up. Write out a scrip for some decongestant, and some amoxicillan and let's get the show on the road. Let's hope I have better luck tomorrow, but with this being Christmas week, I'm not gonna hold my breath.

I noticed in the front page of Yahoo News (why it's there I don't know) that the Duggar family has welcomed their 18th child. When is Energizer gonna sponsor this woman's uterus? It keeps going, and going..... To each his own, but sheesh???? How do they have time to..er, plan their family? Or brush their teeth for that matter, which really could infringe on the whole planning another one thing......


I am off to bed. Hope you stay warm and cozy all night long!!

No clever title available at this time......

I really need to proof my posts. I said I've "been a lot" in my last post. I meant to say I've been out a lot. But hey, I've been a lot too, mommy, chef, nurse, cook, dishwasher, personal lackey, you get the pic. I went to the cardiologist this morning. For those of you,(Ginny&Christy) who wanted to know my report, there was no bad news, thankfully. My heart just tends to beat a little faster than some, and my blood pressure is a little on the high side even with the medicine, so I have to schedule a time to wear the BP cuff for 24 hours to see what happens in a 24 hour period. She wanted to know if I could do it on the 4th? Ummm isn't that election day?," I asked. "Yes, do you not want to have to wear it to vote?" she said. "Oh, I couldn't care less about that", I said, "I just don't' think you want my readings from that night". Of course, I have a feeling they might be counting votes for two weeks. My blood work was PERFECT! I could frame the report, it was that good. Thank you LORD. So, that means I can have movie theater popcorn, and M&M's right?

I have to say, the two times I've been to this cardio group have been the most entertaining doctor visits I think I have ever had. I could spend days at this place just *watching people. Mostly, the staff. Did I mention they have a mini bar(minus, you know, actual alcohol) in the patient waiting rooms. Fully stocked, V-8, soda, juice, CHOCOLATE! OBGYN's TAKE.NOTE. They have some serious power struggles goin' on in that joint. The last time I was there the lady siphoning my blood was listening to one of the nurses unload about another nurse. Frankly, I'm not sure if they realized I was not hearing impaired. I'm sure they got the picture when I began to snort with laughter. Today, two more workers were at each other over a conflict in assigning examining rooms that resulted in my being dragged from one room to another down the hall, with EKG leads attached all up and down my body. There's nothing like trying to hold that gown(open in the front)closed, and carry your purse, shirt, bra and Bible, all without tripping over these cords hanging off your body. I looked like the back of my computer with all of the cords plugged into the receptacle. I mentioned to the doctor he might want to add a mediator to his staff.



Then, I went to get my hair trimmed. We're having pic's made for the church directory tomorrow, and I can't look all grey and shaggy for that. Whilst I was enjoying my autonomy since hubby had the kids, I stopped at my favorite place, the Wal-Mart to get a few things, and nature called. Seriously, I had been to Sonic, like three hours earlier and had a Route 44 Dr. Pepper so, you know, I am not kidding. Anyway, it's a good thing I got that taken care of otherwise I would have WET.MY.PANTS. when I overheard the phone conversation of the girl in line behind me. I can only assume that she was talking to a girlfriend, because this is what she said: "No, I di-ent go out wit him very long. He's banana puddin'. You know how nana puddin' be, it's all like, lookin' good at first, but then when it sits there a while, it don't be lookin good no mo" I almost fell out. Mostly because well, been there, thought that, only without the banana pudding comparison. A lot of things in life look good at first, but then they get all yucky like old banana pudding. I gotta 'memba that one.

*side note: Speaking of "people watching", men, you are NOT invisible when sitting at stop lights. Just sayin'

Good night, blog.

Would the real sick child please stand up.....

Hey peeps. It's been a few days since we had a meaningful blog. I hope we aren't growing apart...... As you can see I've been playin' with the blog a bit. Changing some things up so it doesn't look so plain. I was gonna get rid of the wall paper look, but it's growin' on me, and hey flocking is coming back in style right? The music is still there, I just gave you the option of turning it on at the bottom of the blog.
A couple of you asked about Elly. She is doing better. We have an appointment scheduled with an ENT next week, her primary doctor wants to spread the wealth thinks the tonsils may need to come out, ARRG. I hope that goes over well with her, she usually takes things like this pretty well, however, if it was Sydney.....well that would be a whole different ball game. Just in case you were wondering in what kingdom the drama queen reigns, let me just tell ya, it's the Patterson house. Her daddy says she comes by it honestly, but I swear people, I don't know where she gets it. This after noon, she had a slight tummy ache, you know the post nasal drip kind, just the yucky tummy thing. She had been playing all afternoon, all was well, when suddenly she walked into the room and announced, "my tummy hurts, I think I may throw up, I'm so sick. I'm sooooo tired of being sick all the time," (wait, hasn't it only been a couple of minutes)...."I can't stand it any more, I wasn't sick when we were on vacation, why can't we sell the house and move to Alabama? When is Jesus coming back, I want him to come back and get us, 'cause I am soooo sick." Ummmmm, I'm not sure, but I don't think that was mentioned anywhere as part of the prophecy of the second coming. Elly was standing by, looking on in amazement at the whole display, keep in mind, Elly IS sick, and has been for days. She said, "I'm tired of this mess, and I'm gonna tell your friends how your actin'". It was all I could do to hold back the tears of laughter y'all. Suddenly there was a miraculous healing as Sydney was able to fly across the room to take revenge against her sister. I fear that by the time the teenage years arrive it will be I who is proclaiming, Come quickly Lord Jesus.

Elly, not feelin' so hot, and still a sweetie

Drama Queen, and total sweetheart