Happy New Year and my Non-Resolution post!!

I hope all of you have a very blessed New Year!! I don't make resolutions, because I can't keep them. Mostly due to the fact that I have the attention span of a gnat and lose interest by bed time on the first of January. There are some things I plan on working on this year though. For one, I want to be more intentional about the time I spend with God. Less reading on the fly, and more focused meditation on scripture. I want to spend more FUN time with the kids. We have played pretty much non-stop this week, and you know what? I'm actually remembering how to use my imagination to play again. It's odd they way you lose that as you get older. Oh, I also need to lay off the Pathwords a bit. For the two of you who aren't on Facebook yet, it's an addictive word game, much like crack for the stay at home mom, and it's beginning to take over a good portion of my sleep time. I only play by myself, you can play with friends or even challenge people you don't know. I'm thinkin' that would not serve my inferiority complex well, so I'll remain solo.

I also need to lose weight, but I really don't see that happening. So I'm not EVEN gonna put that on the list so as to avoid the shame and humiliation of failure. If I could control my hair growth, which I obviously can't, I'd like to slow that down. My hair grows faster than a chia pet and I seem to run back and forth to my hair cuttin' pal on a way regular basis. I used to be able to trim it in between appointments to keep it out of my eyes. However, now that I have the new shorter 'do', if I mess with it, I look like the kid in preschool that cut her hair with her mom's kitchen shears. Oh my word, now I'm just rambling like an idiot. I will go for now, I need to play at least three or twelve rounds of Pathwords before I can go to bed. G'night!!

Obligatory picture post.....

Hey guys. For both of you that read this and are not actually members of my family, you may want to skip this one becuase it is the obligatory picture post from the Christmas season. Most of our family resides else where, so here I will share the love with all of them.....Here goes..actually, I think I'll get some chips and dip first....
M'kay, I'm back....posting and snacking, multi-tasking at it's best I'll tell ya.

Okay, first up are a couple of pictures of the girls open house for the homeschool co-op they attend every other Monday. They attend this co-op with roughly 100 other children. They performed together on stage by age group, and then several of them performed as soloists. The first couple are of the girls in their group, and then one of Sydney playing Silent Night.




Also, Sydney got an award for winning the spelling bee. She was not expecting this plaque so it was a nice surprise....



**Note to self, the next time you buy French Onion dip, don't skimp and get the Wal-Mart brand. It tastes much like I imagine rat poison would taste.

On the 13th and 14th our church had it's Christmas musical A Christmas Prayer.
The Chilren's choir performed with us as well. Here is a picture of Syd before we left..

Elly and Tracy were at home sick. Elly with a nasty sinus infection, and Tracy with a terrible cold...here they are for your viewing pleasure....

I don't have a picture of me by myself, and believe me, it's just as well. But here is one of the whole choir.I'm on the back row.... If by any chance someone in this picture doesn't like their image in the blogosphere due to say...the witness protection program, America's Most Wanted, etc....let me know and I will collect any award available remove it. Thanks.....

We made dozens and dozens of cookies, really, I stopped counting at 15 dozen and two pounds of chocolate dipped pretzels. I thought my ears were going to start getting pointy. Anyhoo, the OCD meds must be workin' because I let the girls do ALMOST all of the cookie decorating this year, including decorating the gingerbread house all by themselves!! You can also see that I have loosened up, because my children are STANDING on my counter, and I am taking a picture like it's perfectly normal.



I made matching aprons for all of us...


This is our new camera smile.
Isn't it PRESH.US!



On the Saturday before Christmas we celebrated at my parents house, for some reason I have three pictures and two of them stink, so here's the good one...


On Christmas Eve night we had a special service including The Lord's Supper at church, then we came home and read the Christmas story, searched for Baby Jesus, this a game we play at our house where they have clues that go along with the story of His birth, when they find Him, they can put Him in the manger. Then they get to open three gifts from Mommy and Daddy. After that, we put out milk and cookies for you know who, and went to bed....


Then came Christmas morning...





Now, don't you feel like you spent the holidays with us????

Thankfully, no one needed stitches!

Tell me peeps, why is it that we have gold stored in vaults, being guarded 24/7 when we could just package the stuff in clam shell toy packages?!!! I can't believe the twist ties, zip ties, plastic clamps and wires that is used in this death-to-the-thieves blister packaging that holds everything from a Dora toothbrush to Barbie in her box. I even had to open one toy that was screwed, yes screwed, to a thick cardboard base. That one sent me into full on wrap rage. That plastic is so sharp and hard to open it's insane. ....."Yes, 911, I have an emergency, my husband just amputated his hand opening up My Little Pony." I can't believe a manufacturer hasn't been sued for dismemberment. Besides if you don't lose a finger with the packaging, you will with one of the tools involved in opening the things up.

What about you all? Did you all have a great Chrismtas? The girls had a blast. Elly was so excited she went from present to present screaming with glee over everything. Each gift was "smazactly what she wanted." I took tons of pictures but if you know me, you know they aren't on the computer yet. I hope to get them on here soon. I also hope to get the Christmas background off the blog before Valentine's Day, but don't hold your breath.

I have tons to blog about, but feel the need to sleep right at this moment, so off I go. G'night

God Bless Us Everyone!!

Merry Christmas peeps. I love ya to stinkin' pieces! I hope you have a WONDERFUL CHRISTmas. Don't forget to sing Happy Birthday to Jesus. It just gives me chills, thinking about the Baby Jesus, laying in a manger, not able to speak a word, yet he came to BE The WORD Made Flesh!! Wrap your minds around that and tie it with a bow, 'cause HE is the greatest present you can ever get!! Merry Christmas!!

Love ya!
Calista

And what do you think number 4 would be??

Well, I was right, Elly has a sinus infection. She is on Augmentin. Every Mother that just read that line said "oh, bless her" 'cause you know what goes along with Augmentin. Why don't they just automatically hand you a bottle of Imodium AD when you get that prescription filled? Has there ever been a drug harder on the intestines? I'm thinkin' not. It's good stuff no doubt, you take that and your gonna pooh those germs right out. The good news is, her nose is no longer running like a water hose, the bad news is, her tail IS. Last night after having to make a mad dash to the rest room, She said, "Mommy, I went number 3"....ummm, okay, "you mean number two right?" She said, "no, number 3, dat's when number two is like number one" okay, GOTHCHA. Just, Eeeew.

Well, I have to run, I've got tons of wrapping to do, and guess what? Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, if I wait much longer I may as well give out gifts in my Mother's favorite wrap, the Wal-Mart bag it came in.

See ya later!!

Just checkin' in.........

Hey bloggies. I hope y'all are warm. It's taken a turn for the cold here. I was just reading my email and catching up on some blogs and thought I would drop a line before bed.

Elly has a terrible cough and a major runny nose, so we are off to the docta tomorrow. He hasn't seen us in about 3 weeks, so I'm sure he's gettin' pretty frantic that he won't make his rent anyway. The doctor's office we go to has recently grown by leaps and bounds, so they have added several new pre-schoolers in lab coats young doctors right out of med-school to their staff. This does not please me. When I took Elly with her last ear infection we saw one of these new doc's. He was completely whack. It was all I could do not to finish his education for him. She had an ear ache, low grade fever and a cough. We don't need a CAT scan and a lab work-up. Write out a scrip for some decongestant, and some amoxicillan and let's get the show on the road. Let's hope I have better luck tomorrow, but with this being Christmas week, I'm not gonna hold my breath.

I noticed in the front page of Yahoo News (why it's there I don't know) that the Duggar family has welcomed their 18th child. When is Energizer gonna sponsor this woman's uterus? It keeps going, and going..... To each his own, but sheesh???? How do they have time to..er, plan their family? Or brush their teeth for that matter, which really could infringe on the whole planning another one thing......


I am off to bed. Hope you stay warm and cozy all night long!!

Finally she posts the pictures....

Okay bloggy people, I am finally going to post my pictures for BooMama's Home lurking Tour. Sorry, I have taken so long, I seem to been chasing my tail a good bit lately, and there's a lot o' tail to chase, therefore it's keepin' me busy. I hate to ask for comments, it makes me feel so needy. But in keeping with the "Tour of Homes" etiquette, please drop me a line, doesn't have to be big, anything will do, "great job", "looks nice", you suck", just sumpin. M'kay? Thanks.

We'll start with the outside and work our way in since that's the way we would do it if you were really here unless, of course, you have the ability to just appear in my kitchen, in which case you scare me and you're not invited.


This is my foyer....
The kids love this train, they call it the Polar Express train.

This is my Christmas card tree. I LOVE this thing. I used to hunt for ways to display my cards and never found one that satisfied me. My hair dressing diva Joann had one of these in her house. I admired it every year, but could never find one of my own. Finally I borrowed hers, and had my wood working neighbor make one for both me and his wife. I painted them in return. It has little holes on each 'branch' where I can tie on my cards. LOVE IT!!

Moving on to the Dining room....



The breakfast room.....



Now we'll go into the kitchen where I spend most of my time, I just finished washing the Thanksgiving dishes yesterday.
Not so much in the decoration department for the kitchen, just the places I look at most of the time, the window above the kitchen sink, and the back of the stove.....Thank you very much.

On to the living room ....







There are several other smaller things, like I forgot the bathrooms where I have greenery and candles, but I don't think ya'll need a picture of the bowels of our home.....pun intended.....I may get around to putting a few more on here. I had every intention of putting up a tree in the classroom upstairs, but I never got around to it. I didn't have time to dig through the junk to get to the trees in the girls rooms, so no pic's of those either.

I actually had refreshments available earlier and I meant to take a picture of them to put on here, for your virtual grazing, but my Bible Study group came over for snacks and nothing can desolate a snack table faster than a group of Baptist women with forks. So, no pic's of that either.

I do hope you all have a lot of fun stuff planned for this weekend. We are going to have Christmas with my family, and hopefully get to lay around a bit. I will post some pictures of the various programs we've been in/to in the next day or so. Have a great day, and thanks for lookin'.

Now I know what a nervous stomach feels like.....

Hey there! I'm back. We finished our Christmas Musical tonight at our Church. We worked so hard all week. I have to say when something like this ends, it's bittersweet. I also have to say, I'm glad to be rid of the terrible case of nerves I've had for the last couple of days. My good friend Ginny and I were scheduled for the same solo, she was to sing it on Saturday, and then I was gonna sing it on Sunday. I had a mild case of the jitters which is normal for me, but then my friend Ginny got a sore throat and called me on Friday to warn me. The jitters turned into the shakes. Then when she called on Saturday afternoon to let me know I for sure had to fill in for her on Saturday night, I actually yacked, tossed my cookies, spewed, you name it. I have been nervous before, but I must say I have NEVUH been so nervous I threw up. UNTIL yesterday.

Finally, in the song just before mine, the Holy Spirit seemed to work on me and tell me that I was singing to God. Just to focus on Him, and sing to Him. The most discerning ears there, the choir, had already heard me sing the song many times, and they are my friends, JUST sing to God. Anyway, the LORD worked it out and the whole musical turned out really nice.

I am off to bed to catch up on some sleep before school tomorrow, and hope to be back to normal this week.
G'Night

The Theology of Horton and the Who(s)

Hey peeps. Tonight we rented Horton Hears a Who.....CUTE movie. It had a lot of teachable moments. The homeschoolin' Momma in me really was starting to get on some little nerves, I'm sure. But, I mean really, when Horton was holding the little flower with the speck on it, and he was telling them "I am here, I have you, holding you in my hand, I'll take care of you," and the little tiny Who people who lived on the speck kept saying, "but we can't see you." He said, "just cause you can't see me doesn't mean I'm not here. Have faith." I mean, Hello?

Anyway, I'm rambling I know. I'm tired. Head ache. No sleep. Busy week. Choir practice every night(and nervous about the program) Two kids parties, one Mom and Dad Christmas party, (I started to type adult Christmas party, but that wouldn't look good now would it?) Anyway, there's a thing or nine going on all the time. If I could call in sick, I would, but the thing about homeschooling, NO substitutes, nope, it's all me. Scary thought. Speaking of calling in sick, I noticed in the Yahoo news that they are fixing to have "Day without a Gay" day, where all the gays are supposed to call in sick so the rest of the workforce can see how invaluable they are. This is just a wild guess, but I'm thinkin' this is one day all of the men I know would go to work with a severed artery before they would call in sick. I mean really. Can you imagine the water cooler fodder? "You know, Dan's not here today. Have you ever noticed he has a slight lisp when he talks??"

I have signed up for BooMama's Tour of Homes on the 15th, so I am going to be taking pic's of the Christmas decorations at the mall of my Christmas decor to put on here in a few days. Are you all finished decorating? What about shopping?

Twas the Night before Menopause.....

As many of you know my foe, menopause has taken over my life. I wrote this ode to the affliction tonight.......I would like to dedicate it to my friend Claire who is a pharmacist extraordinaire, and my friend Stephanie who is going through the EXACT same thing.....If either of them had blogs, I would prop them here,,,,,but they don't, so ....here goes.

Twas one night during Menopause,
And all through the house,
The children were hiding,
and so was my spouse.

From my yelling and crying ,
they all were aware,
The stress of no memory left me pulling out my hair.

Do all women go through this, and lose their clear heads?
I think I’m goin’ crazy, where are my meds?
With hubs soundly sleeping, I thought that perhaps,
I might get some sleep, if only a nap.

When just as I snoozed,
my dreams came to a shatter,
Hubs sat up in bed, and said,
“what is the matter?”

I threw off the covers,
I had a heat rash,
“quick, get me some ice,
It’s another hot flash.”

The sweat it was streaming in a long steady flow,
And I missed my ovaries, more than you know.
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But my spouse with my hormone pills, he’s such a dear.

I pried open the bottle,
To take them so quick,
But the bottle was empty,
I think I’ll be sick.
Where is my memory?
I curse you my brain,
I meant to refill my pills, that keep me half sane.

On Estrogen! Progesterone! Testosterone too,
I can’t take one day without all of you.
As dry leaves that before a wild hurricane fly,
So flew my car through the darkness of night.

To find a pharmacy open at this hour I knew,
Would be a task -so hard to do.
I searched with blurred eyesight, each dimly lit roof,
When at last I saw “Wal-green’s”-- complete with drive thru.


I tugged at the wheel, quickly turning around,
When I gasped as I heard the police siren sound.

I was dressed in my bed clothes, from my head to my feet,
Not planning to move from my mini-van’s seat.
But the pad full of tickets he held in his hand,
Gave me the impression that wasn't his plan.

My eyes how they twitched, my voice how it carried,
As I begged and I pleaded his mercy not sparing.
“You made a U-turn, that’s illegal you know”
Were the words I heard spoken from the mouth of my foe.

“Just give me the ticket,” I spoke from clenched teeth,
“I’ll happily pay it, I just want relief.”
He had a grey beard, and a biggie sized belly,
With a stain on his shirt that looked like grape jelly.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Writing my ticket, that do-nut crazed jerk.
Then wiping my cheeks, my tears how they burned,
To the counter I headed to wait for my turn.

The pharmacist refilled my little blue pills,
The precious concoction that stifles my ills.

They heard me exclaim as I drove out of sight, I can’t wait to get home it’s been a long night…..
CDP 12-8-08

Merry Menopause!!

Happy Unspecified Holiday Season........

Hey peeps. Don't you just love it when God uses an everyday event to speak a word to your heart? I do. Tonight when I was tucking the girls in, Elly said to Sydney, "I love you so much, Sissy" to which Sydney replied, " I love you so much too". Let me just tell ya, that made my ear drums ring, and my too fast beating heart, skip a beat. It made me proud, happy, delighted. It also made me think. When God sees two of his children here on Earth loving each other, and taking care of each other, with genuine love, does it make his heart skip a beat. Does he smile and say, "Oh, I love it when the kids play so well together." I think it does. Thank you for the reminder God. I'll try not to complain, or be apathetic, or just plain ole pathetic for that matter.

I also wanted to share something with you that I first received in an email, and promplty forgot, cause you know, I only have two working brain cells and I try not to use them both at the same time. But I saw it today on BeckyJo's sight and I wanted to share it with you, at a time when everyone wants us to spend our money on a holiday they can't mention......here it is....Merry Tossmas!

This, and That, and our trip to the mall........

Blog, I miss you. Remember the days when I used to greet you each evening with Moutain Dew and cookies in hand? Busy times, blog, busy times..... I have a 15 minute break from my week, so thought I would sit down and type a few lines. By all regards I really should be sleeping, but I'll chat a bit since I'm wired up on Hot chocolate and dark chocolate covered coffee beans, introduced to me by friends over at Hisnando, thanks Brutha Joey these things are off the chain.

Today we had our annual visit to Santa with a pit stop at Build A Bear, and a ride on the Merry Go Round. If you live in this area, then you know that means we stepped into the smashpooery of the Wolfchase Galaria Mall....jk, it's not that bad, as long as you enjoy insane traffic, outrageous prices, and the convenience of 784 stores under one roof with 12 parking spots. Seriously, the only places on earth the such distorted visitor to parking ratios are hospitals.

I normally don't mind parking at the furthest spot and walking, but remember "THE Mall" is in close proximity to MEMPHIS. I like my car, it's certainly not fancy, but it's mine. I would like for it to be there when I come out. Oh, your over exaggerating you say, and I can see why you would say that, since, well, it is me your talking to, but.....NAY, Picture this. Christmas 1989. I go into the Mall to pick up some last minute items from Sears.I come out, NO CAR. It's an empty feeling folks. And cold on the badonkadonk as you walk around for oh, EVER, thinking surely you just misplaced your car. Then the eternal wait on the police, who really don't care, because it's a victimless crime...oh really? I felt like a victim. Anyway, if there's no victim, then there's no crime, that's the way I look at it.

But really, we had a great time. The kids had a good visit with the Jolly old Santa impersonator, and made cute friends at Build A Bear, and we even got to hold a Sugar Glider. That was a cute little critter.
I wanted one, until I heard $389 come out of the mans mouth. Really though, I would never buy a pet from a gaggle of guys with a make shift stand in the middle of the mall. You should have seen these guys. Apparently the animal hails from Australia, so therefore they were all dressed like Steve Irwin. 'Cause you know, all Australians wear khaki attire, all the time. A shady character was runnin' the show. I would have taken a picture of the setup but when I pulled out the camera to take this picture of the girls, he ran over and said, "it's illegal to take pictures in the mall." I said, "um, yeah, tell that to Santa, whose right behind you with a million Moms snappin' away." Then, Aussie wantabe said "well, you know with terrorists and all, they just don't like pictures being taken." ...M'Kay....I proceeded to tell him I wanted to research the Internet about these things before I considered buying one, at which point he warned me, "well, you can do that, but you have to remember the stuff on the Internet is old it was made for the military, and the government, and it's not for everybody."......Really? I'd better beef up the blog, I didn't know I was being watched ..... I honestly think I may have seen this guy on America's Most Wanted before,,,,that's probably why he didn't want the camera around....hmmmmmmmm.

Here are some pics from the day..........

Shitzu surprise...

I love to feed my inferiority complex by viewing home decor magazines and cooking periodicals. Southern Accents, Southern Living (I think I have all of their hardback Christmas books) and Traditional Home are some of my faves. After typing that list, I realize it's no wonder I have a facial tick. Over Thanksgiving weekend I took time to sit down and look at all the magazines and sales ads I had not had time to look at in a while. I don't know what snack you're planning to bring to your office Christmas party, but Sam's would like for you to bring this:


Pomeranian Poo, Shitzu Surprise, Terrier Turds.....I mean really Sam's, does this look appetizing to you?



And Martha wants you to do this....

No, kids we won't be able to go to see Santa this year, because I'll be too busy TYING RIBBONS AROUND EACH INDIVIDUAL PIECE OF FUDGE! What?? Who has time for this? That's one way to ration the fudge, 'cause who in the heck is gonna mess around all night trying to get the ribbon off. I'd just pop the whole thing in my mouth and spit the ribbon out when I was done. When it comes to chocolate, back away slowly, 'cause I'm not playin'. I really don't think I would be invited to a second party at Martha's house.

But this was the tackiest thing I believe I found, taking hand made gifts to a new level, home made cuff links.....

Made from Legos...... and this was not a craft for kids either.....

I feel a little bit better about my menu, unadorned fudge, and store bought gifts. Sleep tight.

Christmas Poem #1

I am a writer of sappy poetry. I have been since I was around 12. I am no sonnet queen, no haiku diva, iambic pentameter pish posh....but sometimes the voices in my head speak in rhyme, when they do, I write it down....don't worry, I'm only kidding, sort of.......

Anyway, here is one I wrote for my Christmas cards last year.....

NO ROOM
There was no room to be found at the Inn,
But is there room in your heart for Him?

He came to this world, lowly and meek,
to offer compassion and grace to the weak.
Not a bed of soft comfort, but a manger with hay,
was offered to our King, that first Christmas Day.

God's perfect gift, to all of mankind,
Heaven's treasure on earth, was ours to find.
From a throne to a stable, from the stable to the cross,
Living and dying to pay for sin's cost.

He is knocking once more,
This time at your door,
Your heart is the Inn,
Is there room for Him?

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas....

....unless you live in Tate County MS or anywhere in Arkansas, where it's looked like Christmas all year, 'cause most people didn't bother to take their lights down.

I put my Christmas Tree up last week, and got most of my decorations up outside, but it appears I am going to need at least one more full day of it. Have you peeps got your houses decorated yet?

We had a great Thanksgiving weekend, which started with my Birthday festivities on Wednesday, and ended with Alabama taking Auburn to the woodshed on Saturday, and lots of fun family times in between. I don't think it gets much better than this last weekend. I have lots of pics to post, but hubby doesn't allow me to download the pics because he has them organized "just so" on the computer,,,blah, blah, blah and, whatever, so soon as he gets them on here, which may be the 5th of Never, you'll see them.

I did not venture out into shopping purgatory otherwise known as Black Friday. But I've heard stories of how bad it was. The local Wal-Mart apparently had a two hour wait in line to check out at 6:00 Friday morning. I'm a little high strung, you may have noticed, so it doesn't always do for me to get into situations like this. Sometime I'll tell you the story of the fight between me and a little old lady wretched old hag, over some Sister Schubert's rolls at the Kroger. Anyway, I'd love to hear about it if any of you have tales to tell from Friday.

For now, I am going to bed. Elly has a bad cold, non-stop night time coughing, so I may or may not get two hours of sleep tonight, see ya tomorrow!

Today there will be intense excitement at our house. We are MAJOR Alabama fans, especially this year, since they are actually winning. Roll Tide!! Tracy's Uncle & Aunt are major Auburn fans.....they are here for the holiday weekend. Today the two teams battle it out. His cousin, who is also here, is a Tide fan. I can feel the rivalry in the air. If you are reading this and are not in the SEC, then just skip the post, cause you will likely not understand, and think we are all a bunch of inbred rednecks. That term was a bit redundant wasn't it? Anyway, we have football food a plenty. I expect to hear a lot of La-Z-Boy coaching, ref chastisement, and plain old fun!! Have a great weekend, 'see ya' Monday!

Happy Thanksgiving

Sorry I am posting this so late tonight. Thanksgiving is almost over. I've been too stuffed to type most of the day. I cooked for my family, and Tracy's Aunt, Uncle, and cousin, and of course the four of us. We had a really great time.

I also had a wonderful Birthday yesterday. Thank you everyone who called and emailed me. You guys are sweet. I got a Wii Fit. It is a BLAST. I can't tell you how shamelessly stupid I look trying to balance myself on that board to ski. I would show you if I knew how to put a video on youtube. But I don't. Suddenly the lack of technology is a blessing.......

Sydney told me, "Thank you for asking for a Wii Fit for your birthday. I know you did it because you thought we would like it. And I appreciate it." She was right, AND she was really thankful. I could tell she meant it when she said it, not just words. And it made me glad I did it. It also made me think about how it probably makes God happy when we tell Him thank you from a sincere heart. I don't know about you, but I want Him to have that same feeling I had of being glad He does the things He does for me, because He knows I sincerely appreciate it. Before you go to bed tonight thank Him for some of things He allowed you to have today. He is so good, all the time.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

You see, I have this soapbox....

and every now I then I take it out, blow the dust off, and climb right on... I ran into a couple that I used to know, at a restaurant today. They are a few years my senior and our paths don't cross alot. Actually, I had not seen the lady or her husband in some years. We exchanged normal pleasantries, and then got into the "where are you all going to church now?" conversation. I told them where I attended, and went on and on about how much we love it. She said, "oh, we visited there, don't you remember honey, it was the one were they sang those new songs, and raised their hands and stuff. That's just not for us." Dead on sister, it wasn't for you. It was for God. Let's don't forget it.

In the past, when you drove by churches you saw signs with wording that made you think. Catch phrases like, Chch, what's missing UR and things like that. Now, instead the signs read, "Contemporary Worship" or "Conservative Song Service". Is this what it's come too? I must say, I love the hymns. The old songs that we grew up hearing our grandparents sing, and our aunts play on the piano while somebody was cooking in the kitchen. They are great, oldies, but real goodies. So are the praise and worship songs. Most of them are taken straight out of the Psalms, not so new huh? Tell David you don't like his music.

I know we're made in God's image, though I'm not sure what all attributes we have in common. But I think when God hears people say such things, and sees churches squabble over worship meant for Him, he might throw up in his mouth just a little bit.

Okay, I'm puttin' the soapbox away now.

Thanksgiving Past.......

Ah, the happy pilgrim and reluctant Indian. I offered to make two pilgrim outfits, but Elly wanted to be an Indian, that is until the outfits were already made, and they put them on. Then suddenly she wanted to be a pilgrim, of course. They both looked really cute, once I caved and decided to let Elly wear her black church shoes instead of moccasins. I am certain all proper little Indian girls wore black patten Mary Janes on special occasions anyway.

Another weekend, another soccer game....

Love me some soccer, especially when my girlies are playin' but who ever invented the aluminum risers/bleachers really should be properly flogged. They are just hard enough to incite hemorrhoids in the best padded behind. On a positive note, they are alsoicy cold enough to relieve the painful swelling. There is no plus for the hump I will soon have on my spine from being slumped forward for hours on end in an attempt to avoid the knees of the person behind me. Side note to people sitting in the stands, make a list, get everything you need at the concession stand in one trip, 'cause if you step on my hand one more time, you may somehow get tripped up and fall on your way back up, just sayin'.

I am getting ready for the holiday. We are having family in from out of town. I can't wait. I love to cook, and stay up late and talk, and play games. Just relax. I hope you all have fun things planned.


Talk later!!

Baby it's cold outside!

Oh the day, it has come to a close. The Fall Bible Study "To Live is Christ" by Beth Moore ended today. I always hate it when a study ends. I feel like I'm losing a friend. I guess you can add attachment disorder to my dossier of psychological grievances as if OCD, and ADHD weren't enough.


Winter has suddenly arrived in the North Mississippi region. The Farmer's almanac says it's supposed to be colder than normal this year. The high tomorrow is supposed to be 44. What up with that? It's not even Thanksgiving yet. Sydney is in bad need of some winter church clothes that actually fit her. So we headed to the outlet mall to see what we could find. I know I have written about this before, but once they cross over from a 6x, into a 7, you can forget cute little girl clothes. Gone are the dainty swing tops with flowers,and butterflys. Bye-Bye smocking, and embroidery. Hello Ho attire. And I'm not talkin' 'bout Santa Claus Ho, Ho, either. I have been to several stores, Kohl's, Penny's, Target, and Wal-Mart. Unless you're raising a Britany Spears prodigy, or you worship Hanna Montana you may as well hang it up.

We finally headed to the outlet mall thinking we could find something a little less trendy. I asked the sales lady if they carried any little girls clothes that really looked like little girls clothes. She looked at me like I was crazy. Well, not really, she looked at me like a weasel, because she looked just like a weasel, it would not surprise me at all if that woman burrowed into a whole a night. She took me straight to the pre-street walker pre-teen section. I told her that I didn't really like that style, that she is only 7, yes a pre-teen, but barely more than a preschooler. Her advice to me was, "learn to sew." I know how to sew. My advice to you is: "make sure you dig a deep whole, 'cause it's gonna be a cold winter."

My day ended on a fun note. I went to a friend's house for a Pampered Chef party, where some WONDERLISHOUS food was to be had. I got recognition for attending the most PC parties this year, coming in at somewhere around 728. The closest anyone else got to my attendance record was two. Clearly these people are shut-ins. Thanks for the invite J- and for the fine cuisine K!

I am going to bed now. But I am leaving you with a picture of one of the many dresses that I turned down.
If any of you know where they have some cute fabrics clue me in, it looks like I'll be sewing this weekend.
Good night.

Hello blog people. I don't have much to say to you today. Mostly because I spent the day in my jammies until church time. I didn't feel well for the better part of the day today. I think I'm knee deep in a sinus infection. I felt horrible last night, and most of the morning this morning, but was doing much better by this afternoon.

I have my Bible study in the morning, and then I have to take all of our churches "Operation Christmas Child" boxes to the drop off center. Sydney was bummed on the way home from church tonight. When I asked her what was wrong she said, "how long do you think you'll be gone giving out those packages? I'm gonna miss you." Apparently she thought I was hand delivering each box to a child. That would be really cool, wouldn't it? If you have not packed a box, head on out and do one. I promise you won't be sorry you did. Click the widget to your right, if you don't know what Operation Christmas Child is.

I will be back to myself with all the foolish details tomorrow.

Would you like a colonoscopy?

Hey peeps. Hope both of you are having a good day. I am sorry this post is so late in the day, but yours truly has had a MAJOR headache all day. It is finally letting up.

I survived the gastro appointment yesterday. The doctor was quite odd. I had a hard time keeping a straight face when he was talking to me. He was one of those people who is extremely intelligent, a quality I admire in someone tending to my health, and he was clearly well versed in every study that had to do with the whole gut system, and quoted several of them to me. He proceeded to tell me, AND I QUOTE, about "a breath test that could be done, in other parts of the country, but not here, and it's not accurate anyway so he's not sure why they do it, but in some cases they think it determines whither or not you have an abnormal amount of bacteria in your bowels." Ummmm, so doc, what would one call this test? ..... Mrs. Patterson, we'll be checking for fart breath this morning, so remember, no Tic Tacs. Gives a whole new meaning to Potty mouth, now doesn't it? I wonder, if you have diabetes, can they do a flatulence test to see if it smells like candy? Maybe Sydney could get a job in that department. I digress.


Anywho, he agreed with me that the source of my issues is very highly likely to be scar tissue/adhesions, because of the three abdominal surgeries I have under my belt....hahaha, get it, under my belt! He said it wouldn't hurt to go ahead and do the colonoscopy. Yeah, tell my bootie that. If you don't think I NEED it, this is one those things I'm not gonna opt for. He mentioned maybe just a good colonic, or cleansing, might help my discomfort. Yeah, I think I'll skip that one too. I get excited about a clean house, a clean colon, not so much. Besides all that, if I get mad, there won't be anything to hit the fan.



**disclaimer, in case my mother is reading this, no we don't use the word f*rt, in our house.

Hey Peeps. I thought I would check in before bed. It was a pretty calm day here at the Witness household. For the most part the inmates cleaned up, and played fairly well together with only one fight worth breaking up, and no home made weapons were involved, unless, of course, you take into consideration the Wii Baseball Bat.

I believe this brief lull in fighting could be due in part to the possibly broken foot of the *Notorious E.L.L.Y. who broke bad on Sydney last night and kicked her so hard she mangled her own foot. No, No, not really. She wasn't actually trying to hurt her, THIS time. They were playing soccer with a balloon, BARE FOOTED, and Elly missed the balloon and kicked Sydney in the shin, really hard. Elly is not the one in our house given to epic over dramatized injuries. She usually screams, the jumps up and takes off running. So, you can understand my concern when she let out that long "silent" scream, where the mouth is open, and the lips have turned blue from a lack of oxygen, and you're still waitin' for the sound to come out. She would not walk for the rest of the night, and even asked to go to bed. When she woke up this morning, she was much better, but still limping, so I think she may have just jammed a couple of her toes. I would like to think we could go an entire week without visiting their doctor's office.



Speaking of which....I go to the gastrologist tomorrow. I have no idea why. The pain that comes and goes in my lower abdomen caused my GYN doctor to suggest crack exploration a colonscopy. Instead of just scheduling the stinkin' test, pun intended, they called me to set up a consultation with the gastrologist before scheduling the exam. I am assuming of course, that the prior consultation is a direct result of the fact that it's Christmas time and the doc's got one or five kids he's buying for and needs the extra cash. I will keep you posted on the glorious events to follow.


*props to ya, Riley

And the Tide just keeps on rollin' along.......What's that noise? Oh, it's just a Bull Dawg howlin' outside.....

I lurve my Bull Dawg peeps!!

And exactly why is it that......

...we can make artificial hearts, send people into space, store the worlds technology on a micro-chip the size of a pin head, and yet we can't make lettuce that tastes like chocolate? I am in bad need of loosing some weight. But I don't want to give up comfort food. Or exercise. I just want to take a nice little pill, go to sleep and wake up skinny. Tell me why that can't happen.

Consider all the other technology. I don't need a faster computer. I don't need a phone the size of the back of my earring. How am I supposed to hold something that little anyway? I just want a skinny pill. This clearly shows us that men are still in charge of the technical universe, 'else the priorities would be so different. If women were the technical gurus, we'd all have purses with churning devises that automatically brought everything from the bottom to the top each time you opened them. And refrigerators that suggested recipes based on what they had inside. You could just fill 'em with all kinds of rich foods, hit a button and it would suggest some wonderful recipe. Who could care less how fattening it might be, because you'd have the skinny pill when you were through. Now THAT'S technology I'd pay for.

Speaking of technology, some came to our house this week. I'm sure all of you have had the Tivo, DVR bidness going on in your house for a while now. But being a bit slow on the go, we got it this week. It is sooo cool. We can pause and fast forward live T.V. I may actually be able to watch television again. I have been without it for so long, I don't know what to think. We have not even been able to watch some really benign shows, just because the commercials were so bad. Now we don't have to worry about that any more. I won't have to cringe every time they advertise for another over the top drug company. Apparently every medication since Bayer Aspirin causes sexual dysfunction for pity's sake.

I used to know a girl who said she thought as long as you taught your kids your values, it was crazy to try to shield your kids from the stuff on television, because it was stuff of real life and they needed to get used to it. Yeah, I guess that's kinda true, in a thinking your kids will be okay running around in a room full of infectious disease patients because they took their Flintstones vitamins, kinda way. So, I'm glad to have the new technology, even if it doesn't make me skinny, or help me plan meals.

Randomness of my day.......

Hey peeps. I am finally home. We have been on the go all day. I don't recall my mother having to keep a planner for my activities. When I was 7. OR EVER. I don't' know what I have done to myself. I don't see it gettin' much better between now and the first of the year. Next month Christmas parties and all that junk holiday festivity will begin. We may as well pack a bag and live out of the trunk for the next month. I am sure we will be on the road more than home.

Have I ever introduced you to our dog Max? He is on the blog header wearing the lovely princess crown. The envy of male Shelties everywhere I am sure. He is actually my stepdog, as hubs brought him into the marriage. Max is nearly 12, and as a result, he has lost most of his hearing this past year. Have you ever heard the old saying you can't teach an old dog new tricks? Max has. He's not pickin' up on the sign language I've been trying to teach him at all. What is the sign for it's stinkin' cold, and I'm tired of standin' here, do your bidness and come in the house?

The Christmas list is growing. Sydney asked me today if I thought she might get a cell phone for Christmas. I'm sorry. Can you repeat that, did you say cell phone? Why yes, she did. At seven. What's she gonna do, call her friends to tell 'em Gummy Bears are on sale? Her Webkinz had a birthday? No, you can't have a phone! "Can I ask Santa for one?" she asked. There is irony in that question, is there not? Ummmmm, I don't think Santa does cell phones. They don't have good coverage at the North Pole.

Today Elly and Sydney were playing with their plastic horses, and Elly learned about "bucking broncos." They proceeded to frolic around the house, Elly pretending to BE a buckin' bronco, and have a grand old time. This was a new term for her, so everything suddenly was a "buckin' bronco" this, and a "buckin' bronco" that....innocent enough, I thought. It will wear out soon, says me. Fast forward two hours. We're getting ready to go piano lessons for Syd. Elly is brushing her hair, and it is sticking up ALL.OVER.HER.HEAD. I said, "Elly, what's up with your hair?" She said, "it's buckin' up like a bronco, it's just my buckin' hair." And then prances around the room saying, "my buckin', buckin', hair." Oh no. Moment of panic. If you know Elly, you know she has all of the cute 4 year old speech issues available. R's, S's, L's, the works. And, to top it off, she talks really fast like her Momma. "Buckin' hair" did not sound good folks. NOT.AT.ALL. But I've always heard not to make a big deal out of these things. After all, do I really want to tell her what it sounds like? I let it go, and so did she, temporarily. We had to pick some things up at the store after lessons, and there was a cute little toddler in there jumping around and playing. Elly loves to see smaller girls playing like this, it makes her feel big, and she goes on and on about how cute they are. The little girls mother was at the end of her rope with her "cute" little girl, and was just about to call me blessed at how well behaved mine were being, when Elly said, "Your wittle girwl is just buckin' up everywhaua, wike a bronco." Let me just say, I don't think she heard anything after "buckin' up." I'm sure she thought we were a bunch of heathens.

This ranked right up there with time Sydney had a hangnail on her middle finger and proceeded to hold it up in the air all day. After the second person honked at me driving down the road, I discovered she had her elbow on her armrest with her hand up against the window effectively dissing the world. I guess the passersby wanted to inform me of my ill behaved kindergartner......Maybe I should no longer let these things go.

Well, I think I am off to bed. I hope you all have sweet dreams.

Man Time

Is there a chart published somewhere which converts Man Time into real time? I'm asking this because right now my hubs is 3 hours and 12 minutes into a 30 minute job. This is not rare. I am not exactly sure of the conversion rate, but I think the ratio is somewhere around 12 minutes real time= 9.6 seconds Man Time. The way this usually works is that he'll have some project he's working on, generally involving pipes, wires, electricity, and other various "parts." He'll go into a long speel about how he is going to do this and this, and then that and then this, and the end result will be "____________insert, major home improvement here," and then he'll end his fairytale pitch with, "should take me about 20 minutes." Umm,, yeah, right.

You see, I want to go shopping, hit some of the Thrift stores and bargain shops, feed my frugal habit. And he wants to go with. But lo, I wait. I must say I am VERY thankful to have a hubby who is so handy around the house. OH, OH, I think he is ready, I'll post more later...bye bye for now....

It's that time of year again....

Hey peeps!! What's up? Have you started your Christmas shopping yet? It occurred to me today that it's that time of the year again to start looking through isle after isle, and catalog after catalog at the TOYS!! With two little girls Barbie will of course be making her appearance. Sydney told me yesterday she wanted "the new Vet Barbie." That's just what we need for last years Barbie, "Dog Trainer Barbie," who has a dog that really poops little magnetic droppings, that you then put in the dogs dish and he eats, then poops,,you get the picture. Yeah, I'm thinking this dog needs a vet. And who ever came up with the idea, might consider some counseling. We also have Horse trainer Barbie, School Teacher Barbie, Cheerleader Barbie, Fashionista Barbie, and the list goes on. Only they really could all go by one name, Buck Nekkid Barbie, 'cause they never have any clothes on. It's no wonder Ken always has that spark in his eye. They're all in their plastic tub waiting for "Barbie the Vet" to come dwell amongst them.

I found myself googling Barbies this afternoon to see where I could find this plastic anatomical anomaly when I came across the Hard Rock Barbie, she came with a " black and red goth glam ensemble featuring a lace up corset top, short flared skirt(basically a belt), vibrant red fishnet stockings, edgy boots, and fingerless gloves, a silver nose ring, and a tattoo." Hmmmm,,,,is Skipper's mom still lettin' her hang out with Barbie? Where is Missionary Barbie when you need her? Anyhoo, I'm startin' to feel like Bono 'cause I still haven't found what I'm looking for. If any of you see her, let me know. I think I'll give up for now, I still have 48 days left.

Wordless Wednesday morning........

....almost, please join me in obedience as we pray for our president elect.