Back to School........

Well, it's that time of year again. Time to start getting everything ready for school. I'm finally beginning to get excited. It took a while this year, but I'm finally getting the "eager for school bug," not to be confused with the, "I'm sick of school, when will this wretched school year ever end bug," that comes around mid September. J/K, I love it. God gives me grace and mercies new each day or I couldn't do the thing.

There really is such a list of things to do. Monday we went "back to school" shopping. I thought by going on a weekday we could avoid the crowds, which we did, but I had forgotten in my summer vacation fog, that you encounter a whole different animal in the forest of retail on Mondays.......the PROFESSIONAL SHOPPER......you've spotted her, the lady with the fanny pack carrying her calculator clipped on the side. Her sale fliers spread across the front of her cart with items needed circled in Sharpie red. She can tell you the price of a loaf of bread by the slice. If you are one of these creatures, God bless you. I wanta be just like ya when I grow up. But for now, I have a kid I'm trying to keep out of the ice machine and one I'm trying to keep from asking the guy with the nose ring what he was thinkin' when he made that decision. If we get out with the crayons, pencil sharpener, and milk we came for it'll be a blessed day.

We finished reading Treasure Island, and are currently winding up our unit study. Sydney has developed an attachment to the characters the same way I do when I read a book and hates to see it ending. It warms my heart to see her love literature....pirates not so much. A fellow blogger asked me in her comments if we were reading the unabridged version. Mwuahahahahaha...No. We are reading a children's version from Dalmatian Press. It still has some degree of pirate speak without my having to stop and decipher for them everything being said.

Well, I am off to fold laundry, do dishes, and organize a little more for school. I hope to find time to eat a little chocolate somewhere in there.

The Chronicles of Wal-Mart

Okay, so I apologize, I really am not upholding my end of the bargain to be a good blogger. I know I am supposed to blog daily. But to be honest, lately I am doing well if I brush my hair daily. Since school started, and Tracy's dad has been confined to the ICU we are LIVING in our car. Unfortunately I don't have one of those fayancy new phones I can email from (I wouldn't know how to use it if I did).

I usually start my day out by making a list of 10 or 15 things I need to do that day, and feel like I've changed the world if I get two of them done. Today was Wal-Mart day again. I only ran into three families I knew, so I was able to get my shopping/running my mouth time completed in about four hours. Not really, I think it was only about 3 hours and 45 minutes.... I sooo didn't want to go, but I couldn't think of any recipes that only called for three pieces of bread, half a cup of milk, and a questionable slice of cheese.

While I was waiting in line, I began to daze, zone out, you know, the blind focus stare that has no particular object in it's cross hairs. When suddenly I felt as if someone was staring at ME. I looked a bit to the left and there was a young, ahem, lady, glaring at me. I immediately surmised that she thought I was lookin' at her future Baby Daddy when I was blindly looking ahead. He was a prize to be sure, I have always been attracted to men who wear their pants so low they need not adjust them to wipe their buh-hinds. And I believe he must be an excellent provider as he had bought her an assortment of beautiful toe rings with the money he had saved on shampoo. Now, lest you think I am offended by toe rings, I am not. But if you are wearin' more than two on each foot, you might be over accessorizing, just sayin'.

Well, I am off to bed y'all. I promise the return of Moron Monday's next week....

An ounce of "Pretention"

Hey peeps. This has been one of those days when I just can't seem to get anything done. Mostly due to my foe, The Phone, and a bit to do with my child who intermittently grabs her throat and starts to cry. I called the doctor who said the scabs left from her tonsillectomy are likely beginning to slough off and this can hurt. "Yeah, I imagine so, what kinda drugs ya got for that?" was my educated response. No, not really I hold my southern street slang for y'all.

I ran into an old friend at Wal-Mart, America's gathering place, and she asked me how I was doing. I resisted the urge to tell of my morning that had left me desiring a necklace made entirely of Valium that I could lick at intervals, and instead smiled and said, "Fine, and you?" She was happy to share an unabridged photo album of her brood, 6 in all, and asked me when I was having another. The thought of this left me with a phantom ovary twinge. I explained that my quiver was small, and full.

Now I can't recall the names of all six of her children, but her favorite was obviously her third boy Marcus, because he was all she could talk about. He has excelled in EVERY sport, skipped a grade, and will possibly be the next spokesperson for the Public Library System because he has read so many books. ARGGG!! By the time she was through I remembered why she had lost the status of BFF. I was ready to be movin' on y'all, but not before I suggested she get Marcus started in Swedish lessons and Eloquence classes, lest he be at a disadvantage when he accepts the Nobel Peace Prize. Then I explained that we had to be going because we were reconstructing the Eiffel Tower from Sugar waffers.....I'm sure she thought I was a smart alec, and that may be, but it was not a lie.