Welcome to my world of run-on sentences and shameless over use of commas. All posts loosely based on true stories as viewed by a sleep deprived drama queen..........

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Chronicles of Wal-Mart

Okay, so I apologize, I really am not upholding my end of the bargain to be a good blogger. I know I am supposed to blog daily. But to be honest, lately I am doing well if I brush my hair daily. Since school started, and Tracy's dad has been confined to the ICU we are LIVING in our car. Unfortunately I don't have one of those fayancy new phones I can email from (I wouldn't know how to use it if I did).

I usually start my day out by making a list of 10 or 15 things I need to do that day, and feel like I've changed the world if I get two of them done. Today was Wal-Mart day again. I only ran into three families I knew, so I was able to get my shopping/running my mouth time completed in about four hours. Not really, I think it was only about 3 hours and 45 minutes.... I sooo didn't want to go, but I couldn't think of any recipes that only called for three pieces of bread, half a cup of milk, and a questionable slice of cheese.

While I was waiting in line, I began to daze, zone out, you know, the blind focus stare that has no particular object in it's cross hairs. When suddenly I felt as if someone was staring at ME. I looked a bit to the left and there was a young, ahem, lady, glaring at me. I immediately surmised that she thought I was lookin' at her future Baby Daddy when I was blindly looking ahead. He was a prize to be sure, I have always been attracted to men who wear their pants so low they need not adjust them to wipe their buh-hinds. And I believe he must be an excellent provider as he had bought her an assortment of beautiful toe rings with the money he had saved on shampoo. Now, lest you think I am offended by toe rings, I am not. But if you are wearin' more than two on each foot, you might be over accessorizing, just sayin'.

Well, I am off to bed y'all. I promise the return of Moron Monday's next week....

2 comments:

All Rileyed Up said...

I actually do object to toe rings. They make toes look like fingers and it creeps me out. There. I said it.

That guy sounds like a winner. :)

Kim Sue said...

once again reasons #4 (visiting) and #124 (picking up a new man) for not going to the heart of darkness