Welcome to my world of run-on sentences and shameless over use of commas. All posts loosely based on true stories as viewed by a sleep deprived drama queen..........

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Thank you LORD, for watching over me even when I am an idiot!

I know I haven't blogged much lately except for the AI posts which don't really count I guess. But it seems I've had so much going on that it's been hard to justify the time really. So I'll try to catch up on a few random things.

1.The indoor soccer season is over. Syd's team finished on top with NO losses. She scored in all games but two and had a great time playing. Today was our end of the season party. I'll honestly miss it.

2.I think I am gonna let my hair grow out back to it's old style from a few months ago. As I mentioned before, you may recall, my hair grows faster than a chia-pet. Therefore when I get it cut it looks bad for a few days, then I have good hair for about 1.7 days and then it looks bad again. My hair just grows too fast to try to maintain a short or semi-short do.

3. I've been tooling around with an expired drivers license since November. Yes Ma'am, you heard it right. I am officially a criminal. I pulled up to the bank today to cash a check a friend had given me for some things I picked up for her. As I prepared the check I slipped my license out in case she asked for it and as I did the thought came to me....I wonder when my license expires......I looked down, and guess when. Last November! Immediately I heard, "Bad Boys, Bad Boys, watcha gonna do?" playing in my head. Still in shock, I put the check and the license in the pneumatic shuttle and began concocting a story in my mind about being quarantined with a mysterious form of Bird Flu that rendered me unable to renew my license sat there wondering if they would,
A.make me take a driver's test again
B. Fine me
C. Ask me if I have been driving since November, and if they did, would they arrest me if I told them yes........

My thoughts came to a screeching halt when the teller came over the speaker and said, "Mrs. Patterson, do you have a valid driver's license?" What? You HAVE to possess a driver's license in order to cash a check? I was unaware of this type of discrimination...mental note to self, lobby state legislature to stop this type of harassment I said to Ms. Demanding, "I have had an account with you for 21 years, (Argh!! Now she knows I'm older than dirt, is it any wonder I forgot to renew my license,) the party who wrote the check has an account with you as well, while my license may be expired, it still has everything else on it correctly and you can see by the picture that it is my dumpy self." And then I proceeded to stuff my bank card, my visa, my check book and a chewing gum wrapper in the pneumatic shuttle and pressed send AGAIN! After a few minutes I finally got my expired license back and all my other belongings and my $23 smackaroos. I couldn't help but think that if the guy in the lane next to me blasting "50 cent" had been trying to cash MY check with his 'valid' license she would have given him the 23 bucks and a sucker for his time. Why is it hard to be an honest citizen, but easy to be a criminal I ask?
So, my next stop was the Driver's Testing Center to get my new license....and it was a bad hair day, of course. They never asked anything about it being expired, but I admitted my own guilt and stupidity to the officer. She said, "No biggie, people come in here to renew when they've been expired for a year." I wonder where they bank.


Friday, January 30, 2009

American Idol NY/PR

Hey peeps. I failed to post about American Idol last night because, well, I just didn't want to. I didn't find it that impressive. The person who left the biggest impression on me was Nick Mitchell with his alter ego Norman Gentle. He was so funny I couldn't stand it. If you closed your eyes when he was singing he wasn't half bad. If it wasn't for the fact that he seemed to be a flamer and by flamer I dont' mean burning embers, I could probably watch him converse with Simon all day. But for the most part they let junk through and sent some people packing that were more talented than some they sent to HW.

I would be willing to bet Kara had no male role model in her life growing up, because she seems to be looking for one now. The minute Melinda, I wanta uplift humanity, walked in and started talking, Kara asked her "if she wished she could sing naked right now." If Kara was a dog, I say she needed to be fixed.

Anyway, that's enough about AI because this week they start second rounds in HW and that's where the real drama starts. So it should make blog fodder a plenty.


Wednesday, January 28, 2009

American Idol Salt Lake City

...yes Randy, it's in Utah. Tonight 13 got through to Hollywood. I was only impressed with a couple of them. After tonight's show I am certain of four things,
A. Simon though harsh, always speaks the truth.
B. Pauler will NEVER go against Kara, and rarely against Randy.
C. Pauler really does need a fashion consultant. Was that a K-Mart turtle neck she was wearing? In late July?
D. The blind woman who cut my husband's hair a few months ago, has recently cut Simon's.

Tonight we met David Osmond, son of Alan Osmond from the Osmond Brothers. He had a nice voice. Very likable guy. My only question in a situation like this is...."do ya not know enuff folks in the 'biz' to help ya get started without this?"
Golden Ticket

Next up Tara Matthews who screeched "One Day I'll Fly Away" in her wonderful bondage inspired outfit that was six and half sizes too small. It was all just horrible.
Fly away THIS day!

Then there was Lamb girl audition part two with Aleesha Turner. Let the bleating begin....

Katie Sulivan STUNK

Remember Rich Kable the long haired hippie guy trapped in 1975. Apparently he was trying to channel Jim Morrison. His eyes were so wild looking they were frightening.

There was the guy with the friend in the bunny suit, his name was Chris something. Really dude, you tried too hard. I think he would have stood a chance if it hadn't been for the bunny. They've let worse through this year for sure.

Yet again, just as I was ready to turn off the pukefest, along came Frankie Jordan. She looks like that poor misled Amy Winehouse minus the crack. I know it's easy to make fun of people like that, but really, I pity her. This girl had a distinctive voice. She's gonna be one to watch.
Golden Ticket!

Next, Megan Corkey...Simon liked her a lot. She had a voice that carried you back to the woodstock days. He said she was his fave so far, but we've heard him say that before only to hear him bash them the next week in HW. Not my fave, not that you care, but it's my blog. We'll see how far she goes.
Golden Ticket!

DID NOT LIKE the presumptuous teenage boy "Austin President of my high school class." Where did he find these songs? NONE of the judges even knew them. Simon didn't like him either, but Randy gave it the "yo-dawg" and Kara said okay, and of course Pauler can't think on her own so he's going to HW. If he makes it pass the first week I'll be surprised.
Golden Ticket!

Taylor Vaifanua was next. She is 16 and looks 28. That's great if your trying to get into One Eyed Jacks on Friday night, but when your 30 you're gonna be saaaad baby! She could sing! Had a GREAT song too.
Golden Ticket!

Rose Flack was up with her soulful HUGE voice. She obviously goes barefoot all the time. Okay, this just creeps me out. You could see the bottom of her feet as she walked away and they were black. Buy some soap, then some shoes, 'cause that's just nasty. This girl has an old soul but after what all she's been through losing both of her parents before age 16 who wouldn't?
Golden Ticket!

Okay Idol, I am a softy. A compassionate person most all of the time. Snarky? Yes, but compassionate. Having said that......if I want cheese I'll order a pizza. Stop with all the sappy, cheesy, sob stories. I know they are sad if they are true, but it's really been over done this year. Don't insult us, and don't play on our emotions, m'kay? M'kay.

It's on again tomorrow night and then next week starts the Hollywood week. It looks like there's gonna be a lot of drama. I would not do well there. I can't take a lot of whining and complaining. We'll see how it all turns out...


Wordless Wednesday Morning......

Elly 2006

Sydney 2003

Sydney 2006


Tuesday, January 27, 2009

American Idol Jacksonville

Just got finished with American Idol in Jacksonville, FL. I know a few of my peeps in AR missed it because their power was out due to the blanket of ice they're buried under. But I gotta say, you didn't miss much. In fact, I am about ready to quit watching until the Hollywood shows start.

In Jacksonville which any of us with a brain know was NOT named after Randy thanks AI for insulting the intelligence of your viewers, they gave out 16 Golden Tickets from a crowd of roughly 12,000. They made their intro playing Journey music and hyping Randy's stint in their back up band.....we knew this was coming. I like Randy, in fact he's one of my faves. But, has he no shame? It's like going home for Christmas and your Mom dragging out all your ribbons and trophies from Junior High to show all of your family and friends.

The first two contestants absolutely stunk. And, I might mention, they got golden tickets. This season is so confusing.

First was Joshua Ulloe, he was entertaining at best. Simon said he was like Inspector Gadget. He was all over the place. So many runs and and turns it was crazy. Then he threw in a little beat boxing, rap, and just general screeching. If he makes it past Hollywood I'll be shocked!
Golden Ticket

Then came Sharon Wilbur. The most memorable thing about her was her cute dog Sasha. Simon liked the dog. She had one of those voices that screams "three packs a day." Randy and Simon voted yes on the cute factor alone. Pauler obviously had a few refills on her "water" because she did the back of the hand kiss with Kara. What is up with these people? Somehow she got through.
Golden Ticket

Dana Moreno was willing to accept any direction they might want to give her....and Simon directed her right out the door. Honestly, how do these people make it in there?

Then there was Kannesswa Finne. Her mother actually had her convinced that she was the best thing goin'. People, please don't lie to your kids! You're not helping them out, you're just settin' up for heartache.

Julissa Veloz. The creepy nervous laugh was too much for me. She made me think Titiana TuTu girl last week, with the giggle. She sang Whitney though which usually fails miserably, and it wasn't that bad. At least by the standards they had thus far set this evening she certainly deserved to go through, and she did.
Golden Ticket

Then there were several flops, Darin Darnell and his friend Devin, were horrendous. And what about Naomi Sikes? Please. This woman cried when she was turned down, as if she actually expected to make it through. Even her chubby friend perched on Randy's lap had a look of terror on her face while she sang. Then when it was said and done, she stated that she actually thought she did a good job on the song "THIS TIME." Wow, I'm glad we didn't hear it the other times, 'cause I think my ears would have bled.

DAY TWO in Jacksonville brought out Jasmine Murray. She was from Starkville MS....woohoo....only about an hour from here. She was GOOD, and her sweet family made me smile. All her sisters, and her Momma coming to support their sweet girl. She's only 16, but has a strong voice.
Golden Ticket

George Ramirez....was obviously supposed to be in the competition for facial hair and took a wrong turn. DUDE! He is only 18.YEARS.OLD. He made me think of the guy that's in every one's high school yearbook that looks like he is faculty when he's really a senior. You look back 15 years later, and say "oh that was Mr.....no, no, that was George!" No fake I.D.s ever needed for this guy. But please, just DON'T sing. EVER!

Okay. I don't know what you thought of Anne Marie Boskovich, but I thought she was good. I was insulted that they even felt they needed to offer her a second chance when they asked her to come back in a bit with more confidence. After the talent challenged people we've seen put through tonight alone? I almost turned off the T.V. They put her through with the words, "she deserves a second chance".....at our household she is the favorite so far. I wouldn't be at all surprised to find out she has had a previous deal somewhere though.
Golden Ticket

Then came T.K. Hash. He was pretty good. He was returning for a second audition after not making it through last year. Simon said no automatically, but it was three to one, so he's headed to HW. I didn't care for him. He sang Imagine by John Lennon, and it was so over sang it was just sad really.
Golden Ticket

Michael Perrelli wound it up, and down for that matter. He was young, 18 I think. He wanted his guitar, and kept it with him like a security blanket it front of him. He is one of those people that is probably not going to be bad, but he NEEDS a band. Simon gave him good advice, to have a normal life and get a band together in his spare time. He needs to grow up a little anyway. He cried like my four year old when she loses her blankie when they told him he couldn't play his guitar in the audition....my question is, "has he never seen this before?"

That wraps up Jacksonville. I was let down with the lack of talent that was aired. They are clearly only showing us the junk and holding out the goods for Hollywood week. Let's hope tomorrow is better.


Monday, January 26, 2009

She's alive..........

I'll spare y'all the tears and crying out, and whole quotation of EVERY Psalm of Ascent. I feel much better this morning, only really weak. I am quite sure that on this one and only day of the year,,,,I could comfortably wear a size 8!


Sunday, January 25, 2009

This is what I feel like right now!


The Joys of my day..........

I don't know if any of you read the post back in November about the colonoscopy the doctor considered doing if I wanted him to. Y'all know it wasn't at the top of my list. Anyway the new doctor I am going to felt it was needed and didn't give me a choice. So tomorrow I will get to take part in the colorectal fun known as a colonoscopy. Joy floods my soul. And from what I understand, I expect other floods to come.A friend told me this morning that she didn't want to alarm me, but I might want to get some Depends. Okay, I'm a little afraid now. I thought I had a few more years before I was in the adult pull-ups.

I begin my preparations, this afternoon. By preparations I mean drinking 20 ounces of corn syrup mixed with club soda and lemon juice also known as Magnesium Citrate. Not to mention the dozen or so laxatives you get to ingest. At least it's something solid. I had to stop all solid foods at 12:00 last night and can't have anything else to eat until tomorrow around 4:00 when I leave the doctor's office. All liquids today. I think that will be the hardest part for me. I'm not one to skip many meals. Thus my svelte size 14 waist. For once I am glad to have a sinus infection. Is drainage considered a solid, at least my stomach isn't completely empty.

Since I'm confined to the house, I am sure I'll be posting more later.

Have a fun afternoon!


Friday, January 23, 2009

This Makes Me Giggle

Today I am going to attempt to do a post completely void of sarcasm. I found a blog carnival refrenced on a friend's blog, called Flash Back Fridays, where you post pictures related to different topics from the past. Today's title was "This Makes Me Giggle. I've never participated in anything like a meme or a blog carnival, but today I'm fogged up on sinus meds and can't think long enough to pull anything together that closely resembles a decent post. Howevuh, being the Momma to two cute young girls, I've got plenty of pics that make me giggle. Here are a couple....

Just Call her Miss Matched

It's been a tough day at the palace!


Wednesday, January 21, 2009

American Idol In Kentucky!

Let's start with the stats. Tonight AI was in Kentucky. They had roughly 11,000 there to audition and they sent 19 through. CRAZY ODDS. Apparently in these one hour episodes the first half is the first day of auditions and obviously the last half hour is the second day. I am no fashion maven but Paula, or Pauler as Simon calls her, needs help. She's clearly having an identity crisis. The first day she looked like one of your matronly school teachers. The one that always wore the polyester shirts that buttoned up to her ears. For me it was Mrs. Blackburn in 11th grade American History, but I digress. As usual. The next day she wore her hair down and what appeared to be something out of Paris Hilton's Goodwill bag. She can't decide if she's 61 or 16.

The night began with Ryan in the heart of Churchill Downs Race Track. Only he somehow forgot where he was and motioned as if he was throwing out a baseball in the intro. It's okay Ryan, all that lush grass in KY can make anyone feel like they're standing on astroturf. The first contestant up was Tiffany ? Didn't catch her last name. This chick had on so much blue eye shadow it looked like her gall bladder had exploded. And her Momma who was soooo proud of her and thought she had the best voice in the world, needed to take the money they spent traveling to the Blue Grass state and spend it some good hair color for baby girl, 'cause Clorox is just not her color.

Up next, Joanna Paciti. This is one to watch. She had a good voice. Pretty girl. Stage presence, etc. She was in over 100 episodes of the musical Annie when she was 11. She apparently had a failed record deal with A&M Records, and Kara called her out on it. That was a pretty smart thing to do. They obviously had it planned ahead of time to avoid a debacle like last year when it was made public that Carly had a previous failed record deal. Don't know the story behind it, but I'm sure we'll hear about it. I expect the rumors will start flying right, about, now...
Golden Ticket

Oh Mr. Mudd, you are so misunderstood. I think this was just a country nice guy. I don't think he was trying to threaten the judges at all. He was just saying "thanks y'all, be careful out there" lines often heard in the South, but the city folks didn't get it and thought they were being threatened. I say it all the time. I hope y'all don't feel threatened by me. Anyway, homeboy couldn't sang a lick, as my Gramps would've said.

Did ya get to see Brent Smith? The young girls will like him. Apparently Pauler and Kara did. Simon said he was "buskerish." Look that one up. I couldn't find a definition anywhere. Nobody in my hood says "buskerish" but from what I gather it means throaty, sorta gruff, if you know what it means please leave a comment and enlighten a sista. Decent voice.
Golden Ticket

Oh my stars. Obionekanobe...or whatever her name was...or as my 7 year old referred to her, "the girl with the lamb voice" ba-a-a-a-a-a
Then there was another sorry dude, Will something, HORRIBLE, then Ryan Willborough, what was up with him? The monochromatic look. Who paints themselves up like a zebra. After that pathetic trifecta I was almost ready to turn off the DVR. Then came...

Matt Giraud, the piano man. His voice was good, not knock your socks off impressive but good. Like Simon, he reminded me of Elliot, whom I liked. But please, no Donny Hathaway songs, not every time anyway. It just gives the air of a lounge singer.
Golden Ticket!

I'm not even gonna mention the geek who tried to learn to sing by watching YouTube....(not by name anyway) but it was funny when he drank all of Pauler's water.

Alexes Grace was from Memphis. She was a young single mother. Out of 11,000 people it is hard for me to believe she was one of the best, but the judges liked her, I wish her luck.
Golden Ticket!

Lenicia Young was the last one to sing. It was an original, boy I'll say. I didn't care for it....maybe I'm too old to appreciate a song that mentions "how she likes his thugish ways"......
Golden Ticket

There were several singers who were actually good. We just didn't get to see them. They had soundbites toward the end of the show. They were all holding Golden Tickets, so I guess we'll see them in HW.

That's all for this week. Keep your DVR's on ready. G'night!!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

American Idol San Francisco

I found tonight's AI a bit boring. Is it just me, or is Randy in a bad mood this season? And Ryan doesn't banter with the folks like he used to. Oh well, tonight we opened up with the Psychic Friends poster girl and laughing hyena, Tatiana DelToro.
I CAN.NOT.BELIEVE she is going to Hollywood. She thought she was the best thing that ever set foot on their stage. I can't wait for her to go toe to toe with bikini girl from last week when they get to Hollywood. They only sent 12 people through from San Francisco and the fact that she was one of them leaves me speechless. And I have one question, if her psychic friend knew who would be in the top 12, why didn't she just go ahead and tell her who's gonna win?
Golden Ticket

Nick Reed was interesting. I don't know if you call that beat boxing or what. But it was entertaining in a frightening sorta way.

Did y'all see Sofa jacket boy? Dean Anthony Bradford. He looked like a character from Planet Of the Apes. STRANGE.

Then there was Jes`us Valensuala....his voice was okay at best, but his cute boys were too much for the female judges. Even Simon gave one of them a hug....
Golden Ticket, by way of guilt..

Akuila Iskew Gholston was by far the most entertaining of everyone auditioning tonight. She brought with her a complete diagram of the human body. At a loss here. She was studying how to be a better singer. Still at a loss. She kept telling Ryan she was singing from her trachea pronounced by her as tray-she-uh......then when she messed up on her song, she said she was singing from the wrong rectum....yes ma'am that is what she said. I had to rewind it 5 times to make sure, but that IS what she said. And a couple of the judges caught it and were laughing so hard they missed the next line when she said, "you have to sing from your lagenical cartilages," as she rubbed her groin area. I believe I snorted out loud somewhere around that last statement. The judges have to laugh themselves silly when they see some of this stuff in replay. Akuila went on to say that she didn't get a Golden Ticket because she was nervous and the judges "irackatated her."

There were a couple of high lights of people who could actually you know SING, when we saw John Twiford, and Adam Lambert who both had good voices, and got coveted golden tickets. But Kai Kalama y'all.....I got all weepy when he called his sick Mamma that he's been takin' care of to tell her he got a golden ticket. And the fact that they were playing Mercy Me singing I Can Only Imagine in the background just did me in.

That's it for now!! See ya tomorrow!

UPDATE** Apparently it is good office workers we are lacking in....

..and not good doctors after all. Thanks to my good friend Mother of all things Potato, Tater Mama who knows Dr. Martin personally, I called the office back. And just as I am sure most of you had already suspected, Tiffany was oblivious. He IS the doctor I need. And already has my profile worked up and a plan of action!! What a man! Thanks Tater Mama!


What we need is, a Few Good Doctors........

...or good office helpers really.

Okay, y'all know I haven't held back on all the aches and pains my tired 39 year old body have become acquainted with. I went to the GP, the OB/Gyn and the Gastro doctors all over the last three months with my abdomen pains. They finally all came to the general consensus that it is scar tissue from my previous c-sections and abdominal hysterectomy, that will need to be removed. My most loved OB/GYN doctor would not be able to do it, because he only does female surgeries, and I no longer have those parts....I would need to see a General Surgeon. My doctor had one he recommended highly. After much, MUCH phone time, running all over the North MS and Memphis area to doctors and did I mention much phone time, even emails people, I finally got a referral to a doctor who they say can take care of this. However, he was not the doctor I had originally been referred to because he couldn't take me for some reason..... Of course one of my previously visited doctors offices did the referral AND made the appointment. The patient relations rep called me with the office info and appointment time. I was pleased.

Fast Forward....of course the appointment was about one month out, because you can't get in to see a specialist you haven't been in the care of since birth without a long wait. My appointment is still 3 weeks out, but I thought I would call today and make sure of the address, time, verify that they take my insurance and such so that there are no glitches when I arrive. FOR ONCE my OCD paid off, because here is what happened:

I called, she answered......
"Hello, UT OB/GYN group, this is Tiffany, can I help you?"(this immediately sent up a flag, I've already seen an gyn doctor)

Me: "Yes, is this Dr. Dan Martin's office?"

Tiffany: "Yes, it is."

Me: "Well, I have an appointment with Dr. Martin, and I wanted to verify that you accept Cigna Ins. and get your location, just out of curiosity, is Dr. Martin a general surgeon?"

Tiffany: "No, he's a Reproductive Endocrinologist"

Me: "Okay, this is clearly a test of my medical terminology, but isn't he the doctor I would see if I was TRYING to get pregnant, and having hormonal related difficulties?"

Tiffany: "Yes."

Me: "Okay, I'm thinking he isn't going to be able to help me."

Tiffany: "Oh, Dr. Martin is good, he has helped a lot of women to get pregnant, and I'm sure he'll be able to help you."

Me: "I'm pretty sure they all had a uterus Tiff. And I'm not trying to get pregnant, I have scar tissue from other surgeries that needs to be removed."

Tiff: "Oh, no, he doesn't do things like that."

Me: "Thank you, while Dr. Martin. may not be able to help me, your exuberance has left me much less frustrated."

Tiff: "O.K."

Me: "Good-bye"

And now and I sit here, Tiff's exuberance has worn off, and I am frustrated. Could someone redirect me to square one please?

And I just realized that I have been here typing for some time, and I forgot to turn on the timer, and I have color in my hair. So, I may have purple, or red, or goth black hair, who really knows.


Monday, January 19, 2009

Just Catchin' up...........

Hey peeps, how was your weekend? As you may or may not have noticed, no blogging for me over the weekend. I had to take care of this:

And this:

And then make these:

And these:

The house was a wreck. I had not taken the time to clean it well since I took all of the Christmas stuff down, and it was in dire need. Not to mention the fact that I went to scrapbook with some friends at church Friday night and when I returned it looked like a bomb had exploded. How does that happen when I leave? Anyway...

I had bought some fabric and promised the kids I would make them some soft flannel sleep pants, their uniform of the day, so I made good on that promise. I obviously invoked the powers of Mahhhhtha Stewart because I made both pairs of sleep pants and finished Elly's baby/scrapbook on Saturday. She is four you know. Maybe I'll get her second year done in time for a wedding gift.

Do you all remember the post about my "non-resolutions" earlier in the month? Well, I had made a silent non-resolution to myself NOT to watch 24 this year. Partly because I don't have the time, but mostly because I no longer have the ability to focus both of my existing brain cells on a plot that twists faster than Aunt Myrtle can leave the table before the check comes. But alas, I sat there perched on the recliner as yet another season is rolled out before my eyes. I'm just a sucker for MacGyver, Navy Seals, all the James Bonds and Spencer For Hire, all rolled up into one. Hey, at least I'm getting two series and a whole bushel of movies out of one viewing time.....but I am faced with the fact that I can't even keep my non-resolutions, oh I am weak people, weak! Tomorrow it's American Idol, and I can't wait to see what they have for us next.

I had better get off of here and read the 736 blogs I have to catch up on, 'cause I got to know every body's bidness like that, and then I have to play at least 27 games of Word Challenge or Pathwords, I can't decide!! Sleep tight!

Friday, January 16, 2009

I got nuthin, really

cartoon from www.weblogcartoons.com

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.


Wednesday, January 14, 2009

AI Kansas City.........

Can we please ban "Over The Rainbow" and "Heard It Through The Grapevine" I mean pulease. How many songs have there been on the top 40 in the last 40 years and we have to hear these same two ovuh and ovuh!!

Tonight we started out with a teeny bopper who thought she had the worlds most powerful voice. I believe her quote was "when I open my mouth people are in disbelief at the powerful voice that comes out"....when we hear this on AI, we can only imagine how bad it's gonna be...and it was. Honey, it's not the powerful voice they're in disbelief over.....
No where near a Golden Ticket

Jason Castro from last year brought his strange little brother to audition this year. Dude, you were number 4 last year, use it. Quit babysitting and get something done. His little brother was not too bad and his voice had that familial resemblance, I'd love to hear them sing together 'cause I'm a choir geek like that.
Golden Ticket

Then there was Vaughn Smith. He was an odd looking character in a Donnie Osmond sorta way. Kara thought he had big instrument. Okay ummm, err, just, NO COMMENT.
Golden Ticket

Did anyone catch the dude in the yellow and orange suit with the funny dance singin' about bananas. Clearly PeeWee Herman was his fashion consultant.
Need I say it? No Golden Ticket.

In comes Matt from Oklahoma, just a short drive away from the ole KC. Had a bluesy voice and I liked his rendition of "Every Time She Goes Away".....Don't know how far it'll get him, but he got a...
Golden Ticket

Then there was Jazz.....Jasmine. Pick a color any color, just pick a color for your hair!! And don't sing ever, ever, again.
No Ticket

I liked Jessica Page Verning who lives in KS with her 93 year old Grandma. Mostly because I have a 90 year old Grandma in KS too.....but she did have a good voice. I usually tend to question the vocal capabilities(don't I sound professional?) of someone who chooses a Janice Joplin song for their audition. Because well, you tend to pick a song that best showcases your range, and control in a situation like this...or not...anyway...
Golden Ticket

Props to the rapping sisters Asia and India. Maybe next season we can see their siblings Africa and Kenya.
Asia no ticket.
India, Golden Ticket

Jamar who yelled "California Dreaming" got through. Now I'm just bewildered.....
Golden Ticket

Anupe AKA Noop Dawg, I'm guessing he's from India. Not what anyone expected to come from him. Not a mind blowing vocal, but good enough to get through. I think we should have some humor from Randy with Noop Dawg.....we'll see...
Golden Ticket

There was the girl from Hickory Hood not too far from here, that had been through the tornado last year. I felt sorry for her. She had a big voice. I think her name was Lil. Don't know if that's Lil as in short for Lillian or 'Lil, as in short for little.....just sayin'
Golden Ticket

Last but not least there was Michael Nicewonder whose own mother tried to tell him he couldn't sing and not to go on there. But he did anyway, and cried a river when they turned him down. Dude was wearing a medal around his neck from chorus in Intermediate School, I'm sure there is a chemical imbalance present here somewhere....
I think they gave him a ticket back home....

Poor, poor Mia. The sleepy Janitorial Engineer (do the contestants make up these titles or does the staff at AI?) who woke up just in time to screech in such a way that caused me to want to stick needles in my ears. Then she called down the wrath of God on the judges for not letting her through.
Bus ticket

This is by no means all of the contestants from tonight, but they are the ones that stuck out in my mind. Towards the end of the show they had the usual run down of the nights biggest losers and did y'all catch the reincarnated Mr. Ed, singing "Signed Sealed Delivered" Those teeth need their own apartment. MAN!!

I still don't have a favorite. We'll see what happens next week. From the previews, it looks like there will be blog fodder a plenty.....

See ya tomorrow.

American Idol, you do not fail.............

....to leave me speechless at your exploitation of ignorance.

Okay, maybe speechless was an exaggeration!

The first few shows of the season are always the best for me. I love to see the levels to which morons will stoop for 15 minutes of fame. The only thing I hate about it is that you can usually tell within the first 3 seconds after the groupie contestant opens their mouth whither or not they have enough talent to sing at their cousin's wedding. In these opening shows they tend to only show the really good contestants and the ones that stink so bad it peels the enamel right off Simon's veneers. There are many we don't get to see who are really good, and could go either way, will they? won't they? I'd like to see a few more of those.

But alas, what do you do when someone has no talent and yet insists on humiliating themselves at a grasp for fame? Exploit them for laughs, at least that's what AI does, and so shall I.....Here goes....

Alright, bear in mind I just watched about an hour and twenty minutes of AI from last night before the kids absolutely melted and I had to turn on the Wii. I only have DVR on one TV, the same with Wii and wouldn't you know it, they are on the same one. So far I can say the only thing better than watching AI in the past is watching it on HD which is new at our house this year...YEAH!!

So, thus far.....I don't like the new judge Kara DiorheaGuardi. I may be jumping to conclusions, but she seems a bit like a wench snarky to me. Moving right along....
What did you guys think of the contestant Michael Gurr? He reminded me of a rabid dog. And his name was so apropos because he put a "grrrr" into every word. Scary..

I noticed Randy got some new glasses this season. I wonder how many times he's gonna reference his weekend stint with Journey this year? Maybe he can invite that Chinese guy that sings like Steve Perry to do a special on the show. Sorry, just had to throw that in there. Only real Journey fans will get that one.....I am a product of the 80's what can I say?

Okay, usher in Bikini Ho. All I can say is "poor Ryan." Is her white trash brain really so lame that she doesn't know? Or did she think her skimpy bikini from Baby Gap was gonna change things. He was almost as uncomfortable when she kissed him as he was when he realized he was trying to HIGH FIVE a BLIND DUDE! HELLO??? He did a better save there though. He was frozen in his closet tracks when she laid one on him. Paula was more comfortable when Simon came at her with his tongue out in Season 6, or was it 5? They run together.......

I can't believe Simon voted for her. Obviously he's had one too many face lifts because his eyes are apparently covering his ears! In the past he didn't let his eyes over rule his ears. She was horrible, but he couldn't take his eyes off her,um,err vocal chords.

I have no more, until I see more. I saw on Fox.com that Constantine has a blog about the show...How long exactly can you drag out 15 minutes?

See ya tonight!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury,...

...my client has fallen in pee and can't get up......

Hello peeps. Hubs has been on jury duty for the last couple of days. It was one of those trials that keeps you on the edge of your seat in hair splitting suspense. Yeah, some guy slipped in some pee in a public restroom and wanted some cool cash for his trouble. There was nothing wrong with him. It happened 4 years ago, he's been to the doctor twice, both times they found nothing wrong, yet he sues. No wonder our courts are so back logged. And where do you think he found his attorney? I mean seriously. I can see the commercial now.
"Have you taken a prescription medication that caused you stomach upset? Have you been late to work because someone's car broke down in your lane and you were docked 5minutes pay? Or have you simply slipped in some urine and need a little extra cash? Why work, when you can sue? Call 1-800-GOT-MINE and we'll get your money for you?*****paid testimonial following....'Hi, I'm Porter C. Johnson, I slipped in some pee and now I have a shiny new car and a deluxe mobile home, thank you Mr. Flunk E. Attorney.'"

Of course, he left empty handed, yeah jurors. And hubs drove to Oxford and back for two days in a row to listen to this drivel. He has been called for Federal jury duty 4 times in the past few years, but was never picked for a trial. Then he gets this. A bit disappointing, but at least it only lasted for two days......

I know I promised to be here with my AI overview this evening, but I didn't make it home from the mountain of errands I had to run before it was over. So, I will have to catch up on two episodes tomorrow. Talk to ya then!!


Friday, January 9, 2009

Gee, your hair smells like...

..Bacon? My pretend BFF BooMama mentioned on her blog the other day that she had been making a hot breakfast each morning lately which left her hair smelling like bacon every day. This made me laugh out loud. My hair has always smelled like bacon EVERY. TIME. I cook it. I've always wondered if anyone else could smell it, or just me. I've tried a few different ways to cook it, even in the microwave, but it STILL smells up my do.

Well, I lurv me some bacon, and every Sunday by the time we get out of church my stomach is growling so loud every body on our row can hear it. So, I decided I was gonna make some bacon and eggs before church. Now, I move my lips sing in the choir, and it's a bit close up there, so my first thought was, "what if every one notices my hair smells like bacon?" Do you think I let that keep me from my bacon? Heck no, I pulled on a Disney princess shower cap and threw that bacon in the pan! "Did my hair smell like hickory smoked pork", you ask. No, it smelled like the stinky cheap vinyl they used to make the shower cap. At least I had my bacon.


Thursday, January 8, 2009

If you can't get a job at the Taco Bell Drive thru...

...then I'm sure you can hire on at AOL doing some reporting. I was reading an article there today about the happenings during the Bush administration. They mentioned that the "events of September 9, 2001 set apart his presidency." Yeah, apparently tea and crumpets with Tony Blaire was the pinnacle of the whole 8 years. What kind of breath taking moron writes this stuff? Do they even bother to edit it AT.ALL? Even my 7 year old, who was two months old at the time, knows it was September 11. Clearly they are hiring Rhodes Scholars to fill there editorial positions.

On to better things....do either one of you watch American Idol? I DO. I Can't wait.
Season Premiere January 13th and 14th at 7 central....set your DVR's now people!! There is nothing I like better than watching the auditions while I unleash fiery sarcasm cheer on the contestants. My play by plays will be on each week my friends.

Thought I would leave you with something to ponder this evening. Today in our Language class we discussed that if you were full of cheer, you were cheerful. If you were full of grace, you were graceful. If you were full of joy, then you were joyful. What if you're full of cr@p?

***no mom, we don't use that word.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

We do have clean underwear!

Hey peeps. Do you guys like the new non-Christmas look of the ole blahg? My new friend KS pointed out that I have been busy on the bloggy so we must be wearin' dirty underwear at our house.....I 'bout choked on a Dirito when I read that. But, I am happy to inform you that I have only spent about 5 minutes on Pathwords in the last two days. Not because I was involving myself in the more important matters of life or anything, but my stinkin' hand was crampin' up like a 96 year old arthritic from clenching the mouse for hours on end. I'm afraid I've turned into a mouse potato.

Okay, I'm back, I almost forgot about you guys. I ran into the living room because I heard some questionable music on T.V. and wondered if the kids had somehow changed the channel. Who writes the songs for Disney channel? Alanis Morrisette.

I have to run for now, time to get ready for Church. I'll post more later!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The Child formerly known as Elly....

....Has informed us that she now wishes to be called Rosalina. Pretty, no? Exotic anyway. Tonight whilst we were in the throws of one of our mad Mario Kart marathons, I over heard her ask her Daddy, "will you ask Mommy if we can go to the place where you change names tomorrow and change my name to Rosalina?" I was thuroughly confused. Not that I don't understand wanting to have your name changed. Hello? Calista. 'nuff said. When I was little I remember telling my parents that as soon as I was able, I was changing my name to Heather. But at least I had a reason. I was tired of being called cholesterol. And that was when Cholesterol wasn't cool. Oh, and in the fifth grade I got to hear Calisterine, every day of the school year. So we have a good understanding of my desire to change my name, but Elly? I think that is cute. And it so fits her. I'm sorry, she just doesn't look like a Rosalina to me.
Guess I'll humor her for now and hope it wears off soon. Maybe I'll join in the game, you all can call me Svetlania........
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Sunday, January 4, 2009

My life is a strike through!!

Apparently I failed to preview my blog before posting. I am an idiot. The entire thing was a strike through barring a few words in the beginning. I swear, I don't know why you all put up with me. I think it's fixed! Sorry.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

This, That, and pretty much nuthin.........

I thought I would interrupt our Wii marathon to play 82 more rounds of Pathwords and then drop a few lines on you, blog!

Santa brought Tracy & I the kids Mario Kart for Christmas. This game is addictive. So now, I have to divide my time between PathWords and Wii cooking, cleaning, laundry and such. There really isn't enough time in the day for all I have to do. So, in order to keep peace in the family I'm gonna stop blogging. No, no, not really, I meant to say stop cleaning the windows...bwa,hahahaha. I don't clean windows. I thought about stopping cleaning the baseboards, making the bed every day, or dusting, but I don't do any of those either. It may have to come down to laundry folks. So, when you see my kids walking around in wrinkly, stained up clothing, you'll know I've updated the blog. Or, perhaps scored higher than a first grader on PathWords.

I have a mind splitting headache. I have had one for most of the day. I took Excedrin Migraine which helped for almost 14 minutes. I can't take Aleve, Advil or any of my regulars because I now have an ULCER from all of it. Yes, you heard me right. Can I have one more thing wrong with my guts?? You'd think I'd drop a pound or two. But no, apparently Mylanta, Tums, Zantac and Tagamet all have about 5000 calories per dose, cause that's pretty much all I'm eating and have not lost an ounce. Anyway, I have used the "Head On" stick all over my head tonight trying to help ease the pain. It really does help for a little while. I think they should make it tinted, so I can just use it instead of foundation make-up. I think I'll write the company.

At this point, I think I will go cuddle up with a heating pad wrapped around my head, G'night!!