Welcome to my world of run-on sentences and shameless over use of commas. All posts loosely based on true stories as viewed by a sleep deprived drama queen..........

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Would you like a colonoscopy?

Hey peeps. Hope both of you are having a good day. I am sorry this post is so late in the day, but yours truly has had a MAJOR headache all day. It is finally letting up.

I survived the gastro appointment yesterday. The doctor was quite odd. I had a hard time keeping a straight face when he was talking to me. He was one of those people who is extremely intelligent, a quality I admire in someone tending to my health, and he was clearly well versed in every study that had to do with the whole gut system, and quoted several of them to me. He proceeded to tell me, AND I QUOTE, about "a breath test that could be done, in other parts of the country, but not here, and it's not accurate anyway so he's not sure why they do it, but in some cases they think it determines whither or not you have an abnormal amount of bacteria in your bowels." Ummmm, so doc, what would one call this test? ..... Mrs. Patterson, we'll be checking for fart breath this morning, so remember, no Tic Tacs. Gives a whole new meaning to Potty mouth, now doesn't it? I wonder, if you have diabetes, can they do a flatulence test to see if it smells like candy? Maybe Sydney could get a job in that department. I digress.

Anywho, he agreed with me that the source of my issues is very highly likely to be scar tissue/adhesions, because of the three abdominal surgeries I have under my belt....hahaha, get it, under my belt! He said it wouldn't hurt to go ahead and do the colonoscopy. Yeah, tell my bootie that. If you don't think I NEED it, this is one those things I'm not gonna opt for. He mentioned maybe just a good colonic, or cleansing, might help my discomfort. Yeah, I think I'll skip that one too. I get excited about a clean house, a clean colon, not so much. Besides all that, if I get mad, there won't be anything to hit the fan.

**disclaimer, in case my mother is reading this, no we don't use the word f*rt, in our house.

1 comment:

beckyjomama said...

Man, now I am totally snorting milk through my nose!!!!

Too funny:)