Welcome to my world of run-on sentences and shameless over use of commas. All posts loosely based on true stories as viewed by a sleep deprived drama queen..........

Monday, October 27, 2008

An apple a day you say.....

For those of you who have never taken children with you to a doctor's appointment, mine are available. Elly is a hands on learner. And wants to learn all.about.the.trashcan. And the hazardous materials container. And though she is quite familiar with the otoscope, and not a big fan, the cord it hangs from just calls her name. For Syd, the world is a text book, a quality I usually admire. Until the doctor walks in and suddenly Sydney Mctalkerson needs to know the proper function of the left ventricular valve.

After three rounds of I Spy, by the way, there is only so much to spy in a small examining room, and almost EVERYTHING is tan, grey, or white, and at least 4 rounds of 'the rhyming game' I was almost OVER it. If it had not been for the fireball of pain I have had in my abdomen for two days, I would have given up and gone home.

You may have noticed my absence for the last couple of days, or not. Anyway, I have been in pain, and not up to much. I am currently amped up anti-inflammatory, Mt. Dew, and chocolate...let the healing begin. I really thought I probably had something like diverticulitis or some such ailment of the intestine because of the pain and lack of any other symptoms. After the nurse read my complaint she requested a urine sample. Yay me. Off I headed to the rest room, Elly in tow. For those of you asking yourself why I didn't leave her in the room with Sydney, re-read paragraph one. Elly thought the whole experience of leaving your pee in a little cubby whole in the wall was extraordinary. "Eww, you're gonna pee-pee in that cup? Why you gonna put it in that little door on the wall, that's gross, what are they gonna do with your pee-pee?" She asked if 'real' people live behind the door, or if they were 'little people?'" Umm.. I'm guessin' too many Keebler Elves commercials. I may not ever get her to eat Fudge Striped cookies again.

When the doctor FINALLY made it back from vacation into the room, Elly was quick to let him know "Mommy had pee-peed in the little cup for him, and she didn't get any on her hands." He was clearly impressed. I was mortified. He did not concur with my diagnosis of diverticulitis, as my blood work was fine, and my urine, piddle, whiz, pee-pee, whatever, sample was normal. Therefore he wants a C.T. scan. I cannot contain my joy. That will be a fun trip, wonder what Elly will entertain herself with there????

Well, in the comments on my last post, Tater Mama you were dead on. I can not tell you how many men I counted harvesting nose goblins as I waited through the same red light for NINE minutes. Southaven really should consider a subway.

And Joann, (I would prop her here if she had a blog, which she doesn't, but she really should, 'cause she needs to get a hobby. Her ENTIRE yard is covered in cobwebs, ghouls, and home made tombstones....for nursery rhyme characters...HOBBY NEEDED..) She is my hair cutting queen. She wanted me to share with you why we laughed AT ME, until we cried Friday after my cardio visit when she cut my hair. Long story short, the doctor examined my breast area because of the pain in my chest wall. I was following my rule of no eye contact/speaking while he was 'performing his task'. I broke my own rule and asked a question, he looked me DEAD in the eye and responded, UGHHH, THEN proceeded to tell me I had beautiful eyes. I wanted to say, "could we talk about my eyes when your hands aren't on my boobs," but what actually came out was...."thank you, you have pretty eyes too???" WHAT?? Who is this person that speaks with my mouth??! It's a good thing they have chocolate there, else I don't think I could EVUH go back! Joann, your tombstones really were cute!

4 comments:

Lora Lynn @ Vitafamiliae said...

That last part was pretty funny. I hate it when my brain disconnects from my mouth when I get flustered.

Hope you feel better!

Tater Mama said...

You know, men's hands are NEVER where they're supposed to be....in their noses, lodged in the waistband of their pants (what's with THAT?), on patients' boobs......

Hope to hear that all is well. And I DID notice your absence, as yours is one of the first blogs I read.

I just put all my faves on Google Reader. Are you impressed? Or are you sad because I'm the last to know about that thing, too?! :)

The Farmer Files said...

Maybe the doctor had a disconnect first?!? Maybe he didn't know what came out of his mouth either when he complimented your eyes! LOL!

Jamie said...

You deserve an award for going to a doctor's appointment with kids in tow. (I often wish I didn't even have to bring the kids along to their own appointments with the pediatrician. Toddlers treat the examining room exactly like an examining room. Ugh.) And may I just add my congratulations, re: not getting any urine on your hands? ;) Heh.

As for your doctor's comment, yeah, that would be a little awkward. Hard to make a witty comeback when you are struggling just to keep your dignity intact. (Paper gowns, for example, were NOT designed to make one feel comfortable and easy -- perhaps the person who started that trend was related to your doctor.)