Welcome to my world of run-on sentences and shameless over use of commas. All posts loosely based on true stories as viewed by a sleep deprived drama queen..........

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Settling back In

We are settling back into life. The last of our company left early this morning without waking me, bless 'em. Tracy went back to work. The girls and I went back to our school routine.

It was so much fun having everyone together. I heard a lot of funny stories, that as an "in-law" I had never heard. I know that my husband needed a lot more spankings than he probably got...and that he came by it honestly. His is a family of pranksters for sure. It's sad that it takes a death to draw everyone from all over the country to come together, but that seems to be the way we work isn't it?

My husband wanted to make sure everyone got here without getting lost. He emailed maps and gave out coordinates for GPS gadgets and, of course, did his best to keep me away from the phone in case someone calling might be lost. He gave up after trying to give me directions to tell someone who was bringing food.

HIM: "Tell them go South and then turn East at the exit"
ME: (to Tracy) "Is that right or left?"
HIM: (with a puzzled look) "It's East"
ME: (to person on phone) "You turn East, I think that's gonna be left"
HIM: "No, it's not, it's right"
ME: "You moron, why didn't you just say that" (to my husband, not the person on the phone)
HIM: "Tell them to go East for a mile and then turn back South"
ME: "I'm gonna let you talk to my husband"

You see, I don't speak compass. If you're not talking about the Civil War, North and South mean nothing to me. I only discovered a few years ago that highways ending in odd numbers go North/South, and ones ending in even numbers, go East/West. Yes, my friends my compass reads up, down, left, and right. Now you know why I don't travel alone.

I recently asked a friend who is well trained in the art of compass-speak, if she felt this was a learned skill or one that is inborn. Because, you know, I so wanted to claim it as a handicap for which I had no control. But alas, she said she felt it could be learned, as she had honed her own internal GPS quite a bit. I'm lookin' for a self help book on compass skills if anyone has any suggestions.

I think I will do some of my Bible Study homework, and then head to bed. I think that is East of where I am sitting....but I really can't be sure.

4 comments:

joann said...

Calista,

About your inner compass, I always try and think of where the MS river is. I can usually find my way from there. Try that. Oh and interstates with 3 digits, they are circles, like I240 going around Memphis. Glad to hear things went well with all the company, you and your family have been in my prayers.

JoAnn

Tater Mama said...

I am laughing so hard at this! My father was a navigator in the Air National Guard, so he was all about giving directions in compass-speak. It used to drive us nuts, but he didn't quit doing it. If I have a good reference point, I can usually do pretty well. Thanks to my Dad, I have a fairly good sense of direction. But it took about 25 years to get it.

All Rileyed Up said...

So you feel like you're in good company - a couple years ago, I wrote out directions to my sister's shower and said "take the 5 freeway, exit ortega and go west" and about 30 or so people called me to ask if they needed to turn right or left.

Truthfully, though, I can only do compass-speak when driving on a higway or interstate or an ocean is nearby.

Melanie said...

Oh my word! I need left, right and throw in some landmarks for good measure. And frankly I don't do miles very well either. Hmmm, maybe I should have posted as anonymous. I'm a little embarrassed about that one.