Welcome to my world of run-on sentences and shameless over use of commas. All posts loosely based on true stories as viewed by a sleep deprived drama queen..........

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Please sir, may I have some more gruel....err salad?

Well, we returned from our trip to Chuck E. Cheese, the E is short for E. Coli, with no symptoms as of yet. Well, not really, I have whiplash. Because there were like 423 preschoolers and 212 women all with the same name, "Mommy". Every time I heard a shrill little voice yelp out those two syllables, I would yank myself around to see if it was my child. But thus far we have no apparent viral symptoms.

As usual the kids had a blast, and my SIL and I enjoyed being able to talk without having to "entertain" the kiddos. We ordered our usual, cheese pizza for them, and a salad bar for Me. The counter lady, we'll call her Snarkity McSnarksnark for now, informed me that it was only a dollar extra to get all you can eat. So I splurged. She stamped my hand. I dug in. Of course, you know me, I immediately spilled dressing down the front of my shirt. I now look like I've lactated Ranch. Oh, well.

I polished off my salad and, after talking for a bit, I decided I'd better take advantage of that extra dollar I spent and make another trip to the salad bar. I cleaned up the table before I left, 'cause you know, OCD doesn't take a day off. I walked up to the counter and asked for another plate for the salad bar. Snarkity looked at me blankly, and the following exchange took place:

Snarkity: "Where's your other one?"

Me: "I threw it away when I was finished with it"

Snarkity: "well, you have to 'turn in' your old one, in order to get a new one"
(Now remember, Snarkity and myself are not strangers, she just coaxed me into this all you can eat business 20 minutes ago)

Me: "I'm sorry, I just threw it away when I was trying to clean up. I have this stamp here on my arm" (I'm sure Jerry Seinfeld would call her the salad nazi)

Snarkity: "that doesn't prove anything, it only shows you had a salad bar, not the all you can eat. I'll give you a plate this time, but in the future you need to try to remember you have to turn in the old, to get the new"

No she di-ent? Yes, she did. Prove anything???? Is this woman Judge Judy? She talked to me like I was THREE.YEARS.OLD. Did I mention she was maybe 19????

I pause here to say that the Lord has truly done a work in my heart, else I would have hopped on her counter and helped her spin some cotton candy. Instead, I said:

"Is salad theft really that big a problem in DeSoto County? It's right over there in the trash if you'd like to retrieve it, does Chuck make you buy these plates out of your paycheck?"

She gave me the plate, I ate another salad. This time I spilled Italian. The next time you go to the petri dishChuck E. Cheese, don't pay for the salad bar. Just walk around the joint until you find an empty booth with a salad plate on the table. Take it up front and tell them you need another plate.

Goodnight.

2 comments:

Tater Mama said...

That is a great tip, my friend. I'm still impressed that you braved the Chuck E. Sleaze in the first place. We used to go with our niece and we had to psyche ourselves up for it. Mercy.

Anonymous said...

Calista, you are a trip! Kathryn told me I should read this one b/c it's so funny, and she was so right. I laughed out loud...right here by myself at my desk. I just love reading what you write.
(Joann...Kat's mom, Betsy's sis)